It's Been A Bad Year For Cap

...and if the new Alex Ross-designed look is any indication, things aren't getting better any time soon. To wit:


Look, the "classic" Cap costume we're all familiar with is patently ridiculous, over-the-top, and totally awesome.

This thing makes Captain America look like... well frankly it makes him look like U.S. Agent (which, for the uninitiated, is not a good thing).

I'm struggling with the point of all this, since it's been confirmed that this isn't Steve Rogers anyway. (Which pushes this even farther into U.S. Agent territory.)

The whole thing has a very Iron Spider-like smell to it, and that smell makes me vomit.

Chris' Reviews 3/7, Pt. 1

Good God a'mighty, it's review time! Things have calmed down here at Frobozz Software (and points to commenter Anonymous who got the reference in the apology post last Thursday), so it's back to comics. Here's the deal: this part of reviews is dedicated to one comic only (because it deserves it), then I'll get to the rest of my pile tonight or tomorrow morning.

I cannot stress this enough:

MASSIVE SPOILERS AHOY!

One more time for the cheap seats:

MASSIVE SPOILERS AHOY!

CAPTAIN AMERICA #25

Well, it happened, didn't it? It's not so much a story as it is an event, and a well done one at that. The short version: as Cap's escorted into a courthouse, Crossbones shoots him with a sniper rifle, prompting a Bucky/Falcon team-up to find the shooter. In the ensuing chaos, Cap gets gut-shot again three times by...

wait for it...

wait for it...

A brainwashed Sharon Carter, acting under a spell/mindscrew/something courtesy of Doctor Faustus and the Red Skull.

So yeah, he's dead, regardless of the nonsense you may have seen in Civil War: The Initiative. (And we'll be getting to that pile of crap a little later.)

Steve Epting brings his "A" game as usual, with scenes such as the Bucky/Crossbones fight really delivering the impact, and smaller ones like Bucky leaping over cars in traffic conveying action exceptionally. Additionally, the panel showing Bucky and Crossbones punching through a billboard Iron Man was just awesome on two or three levels. I have to admit I didn't care for Epting when I first started reading Cap, but he's become one of my favorite artists.

Three things that make this a good comic:

1) The Falcon. Very nice flashback scenes with Green Jumpsuit Falcon, even! Sam's internal monologue makes it clear how much he appreciates and admires Cap, and he even gets a few good action scenes. We need to see more of the Falcon, period.

2) The twist at the end. Sharon's sudden remembrance at the end caught me completely off guard, and managed to get me fired up about even a Cap-less Captain America comic, which is what I suspect we'll be getting for the foreseeable future, stupid Punisher hints dropped in Civil War notwithstanding.

3) Cap, having been shot, is laying on the ground, and instead of screaming like the rest of us would be, what is he doing? TELLING PEOPLE TO GET THE CROWD TO SAFETY. That, friends, is a hero. I don't mind telling you, it got a little dusty in the room when I read that.

Best Moment: I'm going with the twist at the end. I was totally unprepared for it, because I'm stupid. But it was great.

Worst Moment: Well, if "Captain America gets killed" isn't a worst moment, I don't know what it.

Comic Book Goodness: 4/5. An outstanding issue, and thank God Marvel let Brubaker do this instead of having Millar hack out this in Civil War. Action-packed like the best issues of Cap, and filled with fond memories. Buy this comic.

Better Know A Hero: Captain America

2 Guys Buying Comics has been apprised of the fact that a good portion of our visitors are just getting back into comics. We now present the second installment of our weekly feature, Better Know A Hero.

Name: Captain America

Also Known As: Sentinel of Liberty, Star-Spangled Avenger, Shield-Slinger

Origin: Injected with an experimental Super-Soldier serum in WWII, Cap was frozen in a block of ice after falling into the ocean whilst taking out a Nazi missile. That alone would be one of the best origin stories ever, but it gets better --- he's discovered by the Avengers and thawed out 20 40 60 years later, and continues to fight for the ideals and principles of freedom and, um, goodness.

Powers: Incredible strength, stamina, and reflexes, top-notch fighting skills. Immune to poisons, most diseases, and sarcasm. Probably the only guy on Earth who can get away with giving orders to Wolverine and calling him "son". Also has an almost supernatural inspiration over other heroes, many of whom would throw their own mother off a building rather than let down Captain Freakin' America.

How's the Costume?: Iconic and old-school. If you can't get behind a dude in blue chainmail, a big letter "A" on his forehead and wings on the side of his head AND flared red pirate boots, then I'm not sure we can be friends, mmmkay? Plus, he carries a shield that just happens to be the single coolest accessory in comics, period.

Alter Ego: Steve Rogers, which perfectly embodies the "everyman" vibe that Cap has. It's not much of an alter ego anymore, since everyone and their brother knows who Cap is. No, don't think too hard about how that idea fits in with Civil War.

Home Cookin': Remember, this is Marvel, so Cap lives in New York City.

Chillin' At The Crib: Ostensibly he lives in a supersecret warehouse in New York that's made to look like a burnt-out building on the outside by using holographic projectors. He also works out of the S.H.I.E.L.D. Helicarrier a lot, because let's face it: supersecret warehouses just aren't all that sexy.

Can He Fight?: He's the best, hands down. He may not have frickin' laser beams shooting out of his eyes or webbing pouring out of his wrists, but in hand-to-hand combat he's unequaled. Also has the best combat move of all time, the patented Ricocheting The Shield Off Of Bad Guys Noggins™. That shield? Is. Awesome. Few sound effects can rival "SPANGGG!"

Allies: Most of S.H.I.E.L.D., the Falcon, Nick Fury, Sharon Carter, the government, Thor, Iron Man ... You know what? Let's stop before this gets too depressing.

Enemies: Ex-Nazis with crimson craniums, current Nazis of any color, military-industrial conglomerates whose employees dress like beekeepers, monster-themed terrorist organizations, mental organisms designed only for killing. Also: Iron Man.

Symbol: It's all about the shield, baby.



Family Matters: Eh, not much to speak of. I suppose the closest we got was Bucky Barnes, Cap's WWII boy sidekick who was presumed dead but really resurrected into a Russian cyborg assassin. So, there's that, anyway.

Might Be Cool To: Attend 4th of July celebrations with. Get his autograph. Play frisbee with the shield. Have him record DVD commentary for Saving Private Ryan.

Under No Circumstances: Attempt to convince him that making all superheroes government employees might actually have some benefits for the greater good. Tease him about the head-wings. Ask him about his big-band music collection.

Annual Performance Review: Well, it's been a rough year for Cap, because... well, you know. Now he's in jail awaiting God knows what. Also, while not dealing with the whole Civil War thing, he's coming to terms with the fact that Bucky's back, the Red Skull keeps staying one step ahead of him, and Nick Fury's still missing. We did see a nice team-up with Union Jack and Spitfire, though. Still, all in all, Cap would probably rather forget 2006 ever happened.

What Makes Him So Special, Anyway?: Captain America is the hero's hero, a symbol of everything that makes a hero one of the good guys. This guy is so awesome that every other superpowered freak looks up to him --- and at the core, he's still just a regular joe who happened to get some steroids about 60 years before professional athletes ruined it for everybody. He's also one of most consistently nice heroes ever depicted in comics. If you met him in real life, he'd probably spend 6 hours talking about whatever you wanted to, accommodating requests for autographs, buying you dinner, then apologize for taking up so much of your time.