Wednesday, May 17, 2006

Things My Wife Says Because She Likes Seeing Me Squirm

ME: Wow, I'm not sure about the new costume for Nightshade in Shadowpact.

WIFE: What's the matter with it?

ME: Well, I didn't think she'd go from catsuit to poodle skirt. It's just odd-looking seeing her without the suit she had in Day of Vengeance.

WIFE: Men. You aren't happy unless your heroines are all sexed up in leather suits catering to your adolescent fantasies.

ME: Whaa? No, I mean, skirts are fine and all, I dig skirts---

WIFE: Pah! Just so you can see a little more skin, right? Have 'em show a little more leg? Pig.

ME: ...

ME: There's no good way out of this conversation, is there?

WIFE: No.

ME: ...

ME: ...

ME: Are you losing weight?

WIFE: Nice try.

8 Comments:

Blogger Ragnell said...

Someday, I need to meet your wife.

9:55 PM  
Blogger Chris said...

Funny, she says the same thing about you. :-)

12:10 AM  
Anonymous Fin Fang Doom said...

If it makes you feel any better, I thought the exact same thing about Nightshade's new costume as you did.

1:01 AM  
Blogger Sara J said...

Heh. Men, you guys walk right into that crap. Say hi to Lynn for me!

8:27 AM  
Blogger Brett said...

You were doomed right from the start there, it was a {nerd]Kobayashi Maru{/nerd} situation, the only possible winning scenario was to save a burning orphan at exactly that moment. I have been in that spot many times with my wife and sadly there is a distinct lack of endangered orphans available when you need them.

8:32 AM  
Blogger redlib said...

The redhead wife strikes! Holding our tongues is not our strong point.

9:21 AM  
Blogger simon said...

I don't really mind the Nightshade switch, but the Enchantress redesign is truly truly horrible. Ugh.

12:05 PM  
Blogger Jake said...

In situations such as these, I subscribe to the theory that you should say the worst possible thing rather than try to talk your way out. The quickest way through a swamp is never backwards.

For example, if my girlfriend asks, "Am I putting on weight?" I shrug and say, "I've fucked fatter."

Does she get angry? Hell yeah, but at least I get it out of the way instead of wasting my time trying to talk around it.

5:34 PM  

Post a Comment

<< Home