Things My Wife Says Because She Likes Seeing Me Squirm
ME: Wow, I'm not sure about the new costume for Nightshade in Shadowpact.
WIFE: What's the matter with it?
ME: Well, I didn't think she'd go from catsuit to poodle skirt. It's just odd-looking seeing her without the suit she had in Day of Vengeance.
WIFE: Men. You aren't happy unless your heroines are all sexed up in leather suits catering to your adolescent fantasies.
ME: Whaa? No, I mean, skirts are fine and all, I dig skirts---
WIFE: Pah! Just so you can see a little more skin, right? Have 'em show a little more leg? Pig.
ME: ...
ME: There's no good way out of this conversation, is there?
WIFE: No.
ME: ...
ME: ...
ME: Are you losing weight?
WIFE: Nice try.
7 Comments:
Someday, I need to meet your wife.
Funny, she says the same thing about you. :-)
If it makes you feel any better, I thought the exact same thing about Nightshade's new costume as you did.
Heh. Men, you guys walk right into that crap. Say hi to Lynn for me!
You were doomed right from the start there, it was a {nerd]Kobayashi Maru{/nerd} situation, the only possible winning scenario was to save a burning orphan at exactly that moment. I have been in that spot many times with my wife and sadly there is a distinct lack of endangered orphans available when you need them.
The redhead wife strikes! Holding our tongues is not our strong point.
In situations such as these, I subscribe to the theory that you should say the worst possible thing rather than try to talk your way out. The quickest way through a swamp is never backwards.
For example, if my girlfriend asks, "Am I putting on weight?" I shrug and say, "I've fucked fatter."
Does she get angry? Hell yeah, but at least I get it out of the way instead of wasting my time trying to talk around it.
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