But It Always Lands Buttered Side Down

I made this point on the Marvels and Legends blog a few weeks ago in the comments section, but I feel it bears repeating. So Calvin Pitt can probably skip this entry. Kay? Kay.

Geoff Johns is a a piece of toast.

Let me explain.

I like Geoff Johns. I've never met him in person, but he seems a decent sort and obviously he's a good enough writer to be handed the reigns of comicdom's most venerable universe. He sells a lot of books, has a way with sorting out convoluted continuities and generally doesn't pee in the punch bowl while doing it.

Geoff Johns is comfort food.

See, let's say your stomach is rumbly. Something's not quite right. A little nausea, a little of the urpies. Maybe you've downed your fourth pizza today, maybe you're nervous because you have a big meeting at work to sell the CEO on the idea of the Bumper Dumper. Whatever. The point is, you need a calming influence.

So what do you do? You make some toast in an attempt to calm the rebels waging war in your lower GI. You eat the toast, and everything's better.

Geoff Johns is toast.

Here's the thing about comfort food: it's guiltless, and you generally eat it to make you feel better. There are times when you MUST HAVE comfort food, because nothing else will do. But you don't want to eat it every day, and you certainly don't make it for dinner if you're trying to impress friends. At the end of the day, toast has its place in your life, and it's a solid stalwart in times of need.

But comfort food is rarely outstanding. Toast alone does not a great snack make. But if you add a few ingredients to the toast, it can become nothing shy of culinary brilliance. A little butter, a little jam, maybe even a pickle and some cheese, and you've got a decent sandwich.

Geoff Johns writes competently, can tell a story, and does a decent job with characterization. I just don't think he's (so far) done anything worth raving about. (No, not even JSA. He's made it readable, not great, and those are two very different things.)

Let's go back to the stomach analogy. Let's say your tummy hurts. We'll call that "continuity" or "poorly written comic that should sell more because of the characters involved but doesn't". You eat some toast, which we'll call "Geoff Johns". After awhile, the tummy starts to feel better, returning to normal. And that's fine.

But you can only eat toast for so long before you'd like, say, a salad, or a hamburger, or something that has some actual flavor to it. (We'll call that Grant Morrison, Kyle Baker, or Mark Waid.) And you remember what it was like to eat something that really made you think, "Man, that was a good meal."

(On the flip side, Frank Miller has turned into the week-old meatball sandwich you left in the fridge but have convinced yourself will still be good after a few minutes in the microwave, then spend the next two days regretting it in a variety of stomach-content-expelling ways.)

There's a reason why Johns was handed the DCU but Morrison is Supreme Director of Ideas and Magick, or whatever the hell title they handed him. Johns I think is an above average writer, but hasn't taken the next step, which I think is taking chances, doing something different, and pushing the envelope. I think the dearth of great writing in Big Two comics today elevates Johns' rep higher than it probably should be.

And a lot of us who read comics like comfort food. I know I do. (Hell, that's why I read superhero comics from DC and Marvel). But I'm starting to feel sort of a rote, middle-of-the-road, groove to Johns' books that just tastes bland at this point. He needs to shake out of the groove and do something...else with his comics. I can't quite put my finger on it, and I don't want this to seem like a hatchet job, because I really do think he is one of the better writers out there. But when was the last time you picked up a Geoff Johns comic and thought, "Maybe something will take me completely by surprise?"

I think Geoff Johns has a brilliant story in him somewhere. Infinite Crisis will not be it, because Infinite Crisis is a giant plot device, as pointed out on Comics Should Be Good.

Personally, if I was DC, I'd take him off of everything after this Crisis hoo-ha is over with and give him Starman. I think his Golden Age sensibilities fit perfectly with the character. And the character's not so property-driven that he'd have to conform to merchandising rules or cautions about how the character is depicted, so that DC doesn't have to worry about kids carrying lunchboxes that depict a child-abusing paranoiac stalker. (URP---sorry, looks like that meatball sandwich is coming back for round 2.)

Anyway.

Maybe it's hoping too much to expect anything new from DC or Marvel, but that's the easy way out, and I don't believe that, either. So, come on, Geoff! You can do it, man! You're in as close a position as anyone at DC to write your own ticket at this point and take some chances!

And I'm really getting tired of toast.