2 Guys Buying Comics

Back From The Dead.

2008-07-25T15:49:00.001-07:00

Holy shnikees! Blogger brought us back! More later.

Labor Intensive Set-Up For A Joke That's Not All That Funny

2008-01-23T09:37:00.000-07:00

Question: In the two-and-a-half year history of this blog, have I ever given any sort of indication that I can read or speak Chinese?

Answer: Fuck, and No.

So, Anonymous Chinese Comment Spammer, what exactly is being accomplished by leaving dense piles of undecipherable, completely unintelligible text everywhere?

I suppose this is how it feels to be an X-Men reader.

(rimshot)

(Thank you! I'll be here all week! Try the veal!)

RIP, Heath Ledger

2008-01-22T15:11:00.000-07:00

Well, shit.

Great Googly Moogly!

2008-01-16T18:51:00.000-07:00

So, I check the new releases this week --- as is my wont (as the olde timey authores used to say) on Wednesdays, and two great big surprises are waiting for me.

1) Fell #9! Fell is back! Ye Gods, I never thought I'd see another issue! Oh, Fell, how I've missed you!

2) The Marvel Premier hardcover version of Madrox: Multiple Choice, the limited series PAD used as a reboot to the X-Factor franchise. You'll recall me going on and on about the awesomeness of it, and hell yeah I'll shell out the $20 for the hardcover.

Anyway. Reviews on Friday, but really --- my week's already been made.

Death, Taxes, and Crossovers

2008-01-15T19:41:00.000-07:00

Ha! Ha! See what I did there? I referenced the three things I'm posting about here, just a quick thought since I stayed home today to do battle with the IRS while caught in the throes of the Sumatran Death Flu.

Anyway, I was reading some blogs around DC's upcoming Final Crisis and wondering: has it gotten to the point where the only reason to read a comics event is to find out who dies? Seriously --- that seems to be the only question at this point.

Well, that and whether Grant Morrison's going to turn the DCU into a sentient amoeba. My money says yes.

2007 Year In Review: Marvel Edition

2008-01-14T07:41:00.000-07:00

Right, so, Marvel? Weird, weird company.

2007 began badly. First we had the shit-tastic ending to Civil War which went out with a whimper, not a bang. (Cap finally deciding to give up? Really?) This was immediately followed by a flood of new books, Initiative and Avenger-related, the vast majority of which I ignored.

Then, we got the final issue of Nextwave, and seeing that title end made me so very, very sad. It was a postmodern four-color love letter to the crazy, stupid, irrational joy of superheroes

(Side Note: Nextwave was also notable because Warren Ellis seemed like he finally learned that it was OK to mock superhero comics and have fun at the same time, instead of trashing them in a bitter, vengeful kind of way.)

Following that, Cap died. This, as you might have heard, was regarded as something of a big deal, and rightfully so. While I can't deny that it was well-written and set off an interesting chain of events, I feel like Bucky, Falcon, and co. have been treading water ever since, and I'm running out of "faith in Brubaker" cards to play. We'll see how CapBucky works out this year.

Things started turning around with the smashy yumminess of World War Hulk, a beautifully drawn slugfest that stood up just fine without reading any of the tie-in/spinoff/whatevers.

Annihilation:Conquest also began, and while it's too soon to tell whether it's going to pay off or not, it's been okay thus far despite lackluster miniseries prologues.

(Side Note: The ending to What If Annihilation Had Reached Earth? Was. Awesome. And a much better way to end Civil War... and Annihilation, for that matter. Been said before, but it bears repeating.)

More importantly (to me), Iron Man started his long road to creative rehabilitation. Between the outstanding Iron Man: Hypervelocity miniseries from Adam Warren, the joyous Iron Man: Enter the Mandarin miniseries from Joe Casey and 2GBC fave Eric Canete, Christos Gage's Iron Man Annual, and the wow-there's-actually-a-Brubakeresque-long-range-plan-here surprising goodness of the Knaufs' work on the regular Iron Man series, Tony Stark is becoming somebody you'd actually want to read about again. Who'da thunkit?

(Side Note: Of course, after having been characterized as "fascist assclown" for the majority of 2006, anything was bound to have been better.)

And hey, howzabout the return of Thor this year? Strazcynski's been much better than I expected despite one or two bad storytelling choices (Thor v. Darfur, anyone? No? Good.) , and added three or four legitimately interesting twists on bringing back Asgard and Company. Can't say I have much love for Coipel's art, but I certainly can't say it's bad, and that's good.

As for other Marvel books --- well, Moon Knight kind of ~~died on the vine~~ erupted in flaming vomit.

And then there's Spidey. I don't regularly read Spider-Man, and an editorially-mandated deus ex Mephisto divorce story sure as shit wasn't going to make me start. Since I didn't actually read it, I can't comment on the quality of the storytelling (though it certainly smells pungent from where I'm sitting), but I will say this: I don't know anyone that was reading Spider-Man for the marital drama. I don't know anyone that will read Spider-Man for the insight into the singles scene.

I guess what I'm trying to say is there's bad, and then there's unnecessarily bad. "Fixing" something that wasn't "broken" in the first place except in the mind of a relentlessly-poor-judge-of-story Editor-in-Chief is forgivable if it's done as an honest piece of work; doing it because you shot your wad for cheap press and shock value in Civil War #2 and have to backtrack is insulting.

X-Factor has been hijacked with the God-damned Messiah Complex crossover for... well, I think it's been 4 months, but it seems like forever. Please, I beg you, stop the madness.

Oh, and the confusingly-titled Marvel DCU launched this year; anyone out there using the digital model now instead of the paper kind? Let us know how that's working out for you.

(Side Note: when I first saw Marvel Digital Comics Unlimited abbreviated as "Marvel DCU", I immediately went into 3rd degree respiratory failure as every shitty Amalgam comic came rushing back into my brain. And yes, I read far too many of those.)

So yeah; lots of ups and downs for Marvel this year. Like I said, weird company. I guess my hopes for 2008 on the Marvel side boil down to 2 things:

1) Stay true to your characters. Someone wants a fresh take or re-imagining? Fine. Slap an Ultimate label on it. Don't mess with the 616 unless a ~~good~~ great story demands it.

2) Let's get the band back together. At this point, the only Big Event series I want to see is Captain America + Every Marvel Hero Ever banding together to fight off the super-army of Dr. Doom + Every Marvel Villain Ever. Give me 5 issues of that, good vs. evil, good guys v. bad guys, throwing down in a super-sized bar fight, and I will be one happy reader. Christ, at this point, I'll take Secret Wars III.

Is that asking too much?

2007 Year In Review: DC Edition

2008-01-09T09:36:00.000-07:00

This isn't going to take much time, mainly because, frankly, I didn't read a whole hell of a lot of DC comics this year --- at least, nothing that I hadn't been reading the year before.

So, what will I think of when I look back on DC in 2007?

1) Weekly series infecting the monthly books. Look, I don't know if 52 Countdowns To Crisis Infinity Finals has been successful or not (based on the fact that they're still making them, I'll say yes), but they've almost completely turned me off trying anything new in the DCU. I guess I'm just one of those weirdos who don't want a weekly series, particularly one that, by most accounts, treads water for a good deal of the time.

2) For the most part, I stayed with only a few titles all year from DC and completely ignored the "events". Green Lantern Corps, Jonah Hex, Detective Comics, Atom, and Checkmate continued to be my mainstays... and looking at that list, I realize that I probably have the most boring-looking pull list of any DC customer ever.

3) I did discover two wonderful additions this year, though --- Birds of Prey, both with and without Simone, and Flash, which (was) back and better than ever with Mark Waid back on the book.

4) I continued to lament the lack of a solo Hawkman book, but I think at this point I just need to get over it.

5) Wonder Woman's off to a good start, too.

So, my hope for DC in 2008?

Give me a reason to read your books. Make me want to read Superman, JLA, and all the rest, except for Teen Titans.

Drop the high-concept stuff --- just for a little while --- and let folks who can't tell Earth-43 from Earth-12 into your rich, dynamic universe.

Keep it simple, and don't be afraid to crack a smile now and then. You've got an incredible stable of writers, let them write.

And don't let Grant Morrison get his way too often around there --- that way lies madness.

Marshalling My Thoughts

2008-01-08T07:59:00.000-07:00

So, instead of doing your typical best-of/worst-of lists here at 2GBC, I think I'm instead going to do sort of a generalized "year-in-review" sort of bit; one post focusing on Marvel, another on DC, and then one on what I call "The rest of y'all", which is anything non-Marvel or non-DC.

"But Chris," the masses cry, "Don't you realize that by categorizing comics thusly you're helping to perpetuate the perceived dominance of the Big Two at the expense of gritty up-and-comers and other established companies? Have you no shame? Have you no decency?"

"No," I reply. "I do not."

Check out the first post tomorrow. Meantime, I've stumbled across yet another typically awesome Gawker Media blog, this one dedicated to science fiction, called io9. Check it, yo.

And While We're At It...

2008-01-04T20:28:00.001-07:00

The Onion's AV Club list of Best Comics of 2007 is out, and I'm not happy with that, either.

While I appreciate and enjoy much of what the AV Club does, this list does nothing but reinforce the ever-growing notion that they are, in fact, a bunch of aging hipster douchebags.

You know, the kind that wouldn't be caught dead in an actual comic store.

...

...

...

Man, it's good to be back.

2GBC Comes Out Of Hibernation, Immediately Gets Pissed

2008-01-04T10:30:00.000-07:00

...yeah, we're back. And grumpier than ever. Mainly because of this interview.

Congratulations, fucktards. Online schmoes (like me, but with different opinions, so it's ok for me to rail against them) have run Mark Waid off my favorite DC book and now the Flash that I had been enjoying so much just won't be the same.

Jesus, people, how can you have hated the Flash? OK, maybe the art took some getting used to, but it certainly wasn't bad. In some cases, it was downright pretty.

Oh. I forgot. It's a DC book that's not all "edgy" and "dark" and "of cosmic importance" and "tied in to whatever shitty weekly series we're foisting off on the public this year", so it had to change.

Grrr.

So to our 4 remaining readers, welcome to 2008 here at 2GBC. It's not starting off well.

Rare 2GBC Post

2007-12-18T19:38:00.000-07:00

I kid, I kid.

Comics tomorrow, but more importantly: how about a date with your family?

WARNING: Video contains material that may make grown humans urinate themselves in laughter.

Dark Knight Trailer Online

2007-12-17T09:01:00.000-07:00

If you haven't seen it yet, the trailer for The Dark Knight, sequel to the most excellent Batman Begins, is online now.

Three things I love dearly about it:

1) Joker is creepy, dangerous, and I love the sound of his laugh.

2) It stands a pretty good chance to be even better than Batman Begins, because we get to dispense with the origin stuff and move right to Batman v. Joker.

3) Looks like the action will be bigger and more explosive, which I think will also make for a better film.

Still Alive Here!

2007-12-14T22:03:00.000-07:00

Just hella busy, what with holidays, kids, work, and bosses leaving for Ireland for 3 weeks. We're still in bidness here, and hope to have something interesting up Monday.

Ladies And Gentlemen, We've Officially Found "The Line".

2007-11-30T08:13:00.000-07:00

Look, I'm as big a comic geek as the next comics blogger, but still.

If you are over the age of 13 and order this for yourself.... it's time to maybe re-prioritize the ol' lifestyle, mmmkay?

Just sayin': if 3 year-old CGI outtakes from a Sony Playstation Spider-Man game followed by a stiffly animated Spidey unmasking to reveal himself as whatever unchanging-expression-having still photo you sent in is your cup of tea.... then I'm not coming over to your house for tea.

(And yes, I know that it's likely intended for kids. I'm just trying to keep it that way. This is in response to, I kid you not, a grown 44 year old man who looked at it and seriously considered getting one for himself.)

Chris' Reviews 11/21

2007-11-27T09:52:00.000-07:00

We'll keep it relatively short this week; Massive Spoilers Ahoy!

CAPTAIN AMERICA #32 --- I confess, about halfway through the issue I completely lost track of exactly who was being chased and why, because frankly for the last three issues I've kind of thought of Cap as "That Comic Where Falcon And Sharon And Kind Of Bucky Are Chasing The Red Skull And Faustus, Sort Of". And as much as I've liked most of Brubaker's run thus far, I'm getting the feeling that we need to kind of wrap this up and go beat up MODOK or something, y'know? Competent as always, but it's kind of running in place at this point, yes? CBG: 2/5.

DETECTIVE COMICS #838 --- Part 3 of the Resurrection O' Ra's Al Ghul, apparently. Since this is the only part of this story I've read so far, I'm completely lost as to how/why this is happening, which as you might imagine makes for less than compelling storytelling. Again, my monthly Batman done-in-one fix is hijacked, this time by a crossover. Damn. At least there's a funny page or two where Alfred gets to beat somebody up. Oh, and the BatBrat is in this too, so that's depressing. CBG: 1/5, but if you've been following the story at all and have some context around it, you might rate it higher.

FLASH #234 --- Can I just say something? I am loving the hell out of Waid's relaunch here, and everything just feels right here. This issue concerns an introduction of a new power in the family (not-so-lovingly referred to as "the leash" by Iris) and the family dynamic comes into sharper focus. The best thing about this book is that these read like real, honest-to-god people... who just happen to have powers. A nicely Silver-Age plot, and a neat backup feature about Planet Flash through the different generations complements the main book nicely. Also, a wonderful tribute to Mike Weiringo at the back of the book seals the deal. It's so nice to have the Flash back. CBG: 4/5.

CHECKMATE #20 --- Like the ending to a good legal thriller, the "Fall of The Wall" arc wraps up decidedly not in favor of Amanda Waller, though you get the feeling she's just gonna be more dangerous now than ever. Lots of twists, turns, and I immediately went back and reread the whole arc to appreciate exactly how the final moves impacted everyone. Complicated, complex, but rewarding overall. If you haven't been reading this so far, next ish should make a great jumping-on point. CBG: 3/5.

IRON MAN ANNUAL #1 --- Director Stark and three buxom SHIELD agents take a working vacation to Madripoor in an effort to depose Madame Hydra; Bloodscream, Roughhouse, and Tyger Tiger get involved in the action, and the whole thing takes on a very James Bond-ian flavor (as if the cover didn't give that away). Cheescakey, action-packed, and a nice reminder of how Stark can still pull off the "billionaire playboy" when he has to. I liked it very much. CBG: 4/5.

LXG: Black Dossier Review

2007-11-20T13:04:00.000-07:00

Unlike the material itself, this is going to be relatively short and sweet, because chances are you've already decided whether you're buying it or not.

I did.

On the plus side, you get outstanding production values, James Bond, Harry Lime, and a reference to The Thirty-Nine Steps while following Allan Quatermain and Mina through post-Orwellian 1950s England.

On the down side, the story makes little sense after the first read-through, less after a second, and none after a third. The last fifth of the book is told entirely in 3-D (yes, glasses are included) and goes completely off the rails more or less, by having our characters end up in some sort of fourth-dimensional Hub of Imaginary Characters... or something. I'm still not quite sure, although there's an immortal transsexual involved named Orlando.

What the Black Dossier is, really, is a short-ish Allan/Mina story bolstered by "official documents", "reprints of fictional magazines", "postcards", and other pseudo-documentary-type material that attempts to flesh out the "Leagueiverse".

And frankly, it's all a bit wearying, from the aforementioned "Orlando" piece to the porn-tastic Fanny Hill section, to the prose pieces that keep trying to halfheartedly drag the Cthulhu mythos into the action. I just got tired.

And I think that's probably got more to do with the fact that this book just seems so darned unnecessary. Yeah, the production qualities are nice, but cripes, the plot's just pointless, which I should have half suspected going into it anyway. The original LXG was darkly funny and a fresh twist at the time. This one? Well, it's dark, anyway.

I will say, though, that Kevin O'Neill is one goddamned versatile artist. His stuff continues to impress.

Anyhoo --- I know there are people who worship the toilet seat Moore sits on, but really I'd think that outside of a novelty/curiosity purchase this really isn't worth the time.

World War Hulk (or) How I Learned To Stop Worrying And Love The Gamma Bomb

2007-11-19T09:52:00.000-07:00

OK, so World War Hulk #5, then.

I confess I'm a bit baffled by some of the more prominent online reviewers who seem to think that A) this issue sucked and B) the miniseries overall wasn't that good. Let's start with World War Hulk #5.

Here's what happens:

1) The Sentry shows up and get his "uberpowerful asshole" on. He and Hulk proceed to beat the bejeezus out of each other for about 20 pages.

2) One of Hulk's Alien War Buddies cops to the fact that he blew up the ship on Planet Whatever, in order to blahbity blah blah blah doesn't matter. Hulk, who lost Mrs. Hulk in the explosion, gets understandably pee-yossed at this and starts smashing the Alien War Buddies. Oh, and Rick Jones gets ventilated with a spear.

3) Tony Stark uses his Stupid New Powers™ and calls down some sort of satellite beam thingamajig to del-Hulkify the Hulk, game over, that's a wrap, etc. Banner gets sent back to Omega Base. Elsewhere on Planet Whatever, some Hulk-y looking thing rises from what I can only assume is Green Hulk Emotion Goo (ye gods, did that sound dirty) and based on the solicitation on the last page, I'm assuming this is Skaar, Son O' Hulk.

(No, I didn't read a single tie-in, spin-off, or issue of Planet Hulk. Does it show?)

The Romita/Janson art was as good as it's ever been, and with the exception of a couple pages of Sentry/Hulk smashery, relatively easy to follow.

(Side note: two great sound effects in this ish as well, the first being the "JRJRKJCS" effect for the satellite beam --- love those little easter eggs to the artists there --- and the second was "VJJJWOMMMWWWB" when the Sentry 'splodifies the Hulk. I'd like to know if that was some sort of easter egg as well.)

So if you actually, honest-to-god believed in your heart of hearts when this miniseries began that:

A) The Hulk wouldn't get stopped at the end
B) Any major characters would be killed
C) It wouldn't use some deus ex machina at the end to wrap things up

...then you probably haven't been reading any sort of Marvel comic for the last 20 years or so.

Because when it comes to all-out throwdown Marvel superhero fights, those things never happen.

And frankly, we all bought into it at the beginning, and many of us got exactly what we wanted: 5 issues of the Hulk going medieval on the Marvel Universe. People complaining about things like "lack of consequence" or "emotionally flat" or "nonsensical" probably shouldn't be reading something called World War Freakin' Hulk.

So yeah: predictable, by-the-numbers issue that nonetheless delivered on the original promise and gave us 5 wonderful Pak/Romita/Janson issues and didn't try to do too much.

What exactly is the problem here, again?

Comic Book Goodness Overall: 4/5. Still don't believe me? Compare WWH to House of M, Civil War, Infinite Crisis, or any other Major Event Miniseries of the last 5 years and tell me which one you're most likely to reread on a rainy day. Yeah, that's what I thought.

Chris' Reviews 11/14

2007-11-15T06:18:00.001-07:00

Quite the mixed bag this week, with nary a soul in sight to blame for bad purchases but myself. Here's what I got, not including World War Hulk (that review and thoughts about the mini overall are coming tomorrow) or the Black Dossier (no way in hell I'm getting through all that text before the weekend). As always: Massive Spoilers Ahoy!

WONDER WOMAN #14

Gail Simone's first issue writing the Amazing Amazon (not counting the most recent Atom) starts things off with Diana fighting monkeys, moves to hints of Amazonian subterfuge, rounds out the middle with an office birthday party, throws in the newly-slimmed Lt. Colonel (!) Etta Candy, and finishes with Captain Nazi and the, um, Nazi-teers (or whatever Captain Nazi's henchmen are called) attempting an invasion of Themyscira.

Whew.

It all moves along pretty quickly, too, and Diana's narrations are a mix of self-assured outsider and mildly bemused innocent (and seem perfectly in character to me). It's the usual Simone-ian mix of action and humor, and while it's certainly not a comedy title, it is a great deal of fun.

The Dodson art is typically Dodson-ish, so take that as you will --- I thought it was just fine here. The coloring seemed a little faded to me, but perhaps that's just my individual copy.

All in all, a fine, fun start to what will hopefully be a long, long run.

Best Moment: "There is cake, and that excuses much." Yes, Diana. Yes, it does.

Worst Moment: I'll admit, at this point Captain Nazi should probably be renamed to Professor Generic Villain #23 as far as I'm concerned, but hey --- in an issue with this many monkeys, I'm nitpicking.

Comic Book Goodness: 4/5. Right up my alley, and it's the issue that proves once and for all that Gail Simone can write monkeys like nobody's business.

X-FACTOR #25

OK, my love for the 'Factor is well documented at this blog, so this is tough for me to write.

Do not buy this issue of X-Factor unless you're following the "Messiah Complex" story in the gazillion other X-books, because there's only about 4 pages total here of X-Factory goodness we've come to expect from Peter David. Look, I know it's marked clearly right there on the cover as being a tie-in, but PAD's done a yeoman's job in the past of keeping crossover-itis to a minimum in this book, so I expected... I dunno, I guess I still expected an X-Factor book.

For what it's worth, here's how the book reads to someone who hasn't been following the "Messiah Complex" story:

1) Wolfsbane eats some terrorists.

2) Cyclops argues with some people I don't care about.

3) Madrox and Layla go see Forge, who expositions his hiney off about that stupid 19-part backup Beast story we had to put up with for the last 3 months.

4) Layla and a Madrox dupe disappear into the timestream. (It's not nearly as interesting as it sounds.)

5) Wolverine, Storm, Nightcrawler go to the hospital to talk to some nurse who turns herself into mist.

6) Cyclops argues some more with those people I still don't care about.

And then the whole thing mercifully ends, with me being sad about the X-Men in general, X-Factor in specific, and hoping this is the only crossover issue.

Best Moment: Hey! Ultimate Iron Man II is finally coming out in December!

Worst Moment: Any page featuring Cyclops and the Instantly Forgetful X-People.

Comic Book Goodness: 1/5. I suppose if you're following the event this made more sense, which is a bit like saying "You know, if you were a doctor, you'd think that medical textbook is more interesting."

WORLD OF WARCRAFT #1

OK, I'll admit I play World of Warcraft. I also tend to enjoy Walt Simonson comics. Ergo, I figured that I'd try this mixing of the two, and perhaps be entertained.

The good news is that it's better than it has any right to be.

The bad news is that it's still not any better than "eh".

Look, I understand wanting to cash in on a massive property like WoW, but fer Chrissake, an ad for WoW-themed games/action figures/comics/shirts every other freakin' page? At least, that's what it seems like.

(Side Note: In all fairness, I don't buy many Wildstorm comics, so I can't say if the ad count is usually this obtrusive or not. All I know is that if I'm reading a comic called World of Warcraft, I'm probably already playing your damn game.)

The story proper entails 3 folks being trained as gladiators in the Orc capital, and there's the usual mix of Mysterious Person What Can't Remember Their Past, Grudging Allies In Time Of Battle, and Shadowy Figure Pulling Strings Unseen. It reads like the setup to any other swords-n-sorcery book.

But Simonson seems to be visibly breaking a sweat here, like he's got a story in mind but he has to cram in a bunch of game-specific exposition to serve the brand, and even for a fan of the game like myself I find it distracting.

That said, there's an undeniable thrill at seeing the game in the comic format, and I quite like the artwork by Ludo Lullabi.

Best Moment: The scenes depicting druid shapeshifting were really well done and appropriately surreal.

Worst Moment: Note to fantasy writers: a good rule of thumb when writing about people with fantasy names is to not use 3 or more names in one sentence, as they're frequently unpronounceable and less frequently short.

Comic Book Goodness: 2/5. A decent story could come of this, but man... the odds aren't good.

THOR #4

Well, we're off to Africa in this issue --- and JMS uses the tribal genocide taking place on the continent as the backdrop for Thor's awakening of the Warriors Three, who are biding their time as mercenaries guarding a Doctors Without Borders camp that finds itself under attack.

As much as I wanted to like this issue, I can't help but feel that the setting was the wrong one here. I understand JMS' point about how non-African nations trying to solve the conflicts are doomed to failure, but there's a mixed message here when Thor prevents mass slaughter by throwing Mjolnir at a band of attacking soldiers.

And that's really all that happens here; Donald Blake goes to Africa, turns into Thor to defend the camp, wakes up the Warriors Three, then makes a canyon to protect the camp from future attacks and returns home to mope.

One point in its favor: I got the variant Lee Bermejo cover, and it's absolutely beautiful.

Best Moment: Next issue: Sif!

Worst Moment: Probably the little girl suicide bomber. Some real-world situations just don't translate well to a comic about Norse gods in spandex, kay?

Comic Book Goodness: 2/5. The framing device was way too serious and immediate for what I was looking for in a comic called "Thor".

ALSO THIS WEEK:

SALVATION RUN #1 --- I picked it up because I enjoy the concept, but Willingham writes a full-length comic about something that could have been an 8-page backup. The Flash's Rogues are trying to survive on an exile planet that Checkmate is shipping supervillains off to, and they predictably bicker and fight. At the end, we see that more villains (including the Joker) have arrived, and some Shadowy Figure Behind The Scenes has an agenda for our stranded villains. The rogues get on my nerves, the fights aren't terribly good, and the Joker sounds like an effeminate dandy instead of a homicidal maniac. Yikes. CBG: 1/5.

SUICIDE SQUAD #3 --- More of a Rick Flag issue than a Squad issue, it's equal part flashback to conventional Squad days and a telling of how Flag escapes Skartaris and is re-recruited to the Squad in the present day. Not a fan of the generic looking art and seems like a waste of an interesting character in Rustam, but it goes a long way to show Flag's badassedness and I think we're finally ready for the Squad proper to get going. CBG: 3/5.

Tomorrow: World War Hulk!

Got My Comics Today

2007-11-14T16:25:00.000-07:00

...and you'll hear what I think about all of them tomorrow.

Meanwhile, I'm salivating over a stack that includes Wonder Woman, Thor, World War Hulk, Suicide Squad, and the Black Dossier and suspiciously eyeing a stack that includes World of Warcraft, Salvation Run, and X-Factor's "Messiah Complex" issue.

We'll see how this turns out.

Rare 2GBC Marvel Congratulatory Post

2007-11-13T08:33:00.000-07:00

Press release hit today about Marvel putting 2500 back issues online.

I must say, $9.99 a month for the right to browse all them comics is probably the right price point, and I say that having done approximately zero months of research into the issue. Ten bucks seems about right to me though.

Kudos to Marvel for finally doing something to potentially bring in new readers that doesn't involve making movies --- if Time Warner weren't so paranoid and trigger-happy with the lawyers, I'd say that we could expect to see DC follow suit, but I'm not holding my breath.

Curious though --- does this spell the end of the $40 DVD collections of Avengers, Fantastic Four, and Cap comics?

More Reasons I Heart Gail Simone

2007-11-09T07:27:00.000-07:00

From a quote over at the 'Rama in re: her upcoming thousand-year reign on Wonder Woman:

"The book is about the best goddamned warrior planet Earth has ever known, and she happens to carry a mystical arsenal around just for the hell of it.

If a writer can’t make that interesting and fun, they really shouldn’t be writing superheroes."

::Looks over his glasses at Dan DiDio::

I think we understand each other, now, don't we Dan? Yes. Yes, we do.

Heretofore, whereas, and moreover, 2GBC shall now from here on out employ what we will refer to as "Simone's First Law Of Conceptual Bad-Assedness", to wit:

If Concept A is Bad-Assed, then the Writer Of Concept A should be able to produce Comic B, which should be Interesting and Fun.

Simple, I know. But you'd be surprised how many writers fail the test.

Random Thoughts On My Comics This Week (And Last)

2007-11-08T11:00:00.000-07:00

Short and sweet, with spoilers, natch.

1) Annihilation: Conquest got things off to a good start, I thought, although my storytelling sensors flash WARNING! any time Adam Warlock is involved. A stage-setting issue that did its job, and had me reeled in with the last-page reveal of an old-school Avengers villain that sealed the deal.

2) Iron Man: Enter the Mandarin continues to delight both in art and story, with the Crimson Dynamo getting some face time and the Mandarin setting his plans for conquest in motion. As we've said here before, the real treat is Eric Canete's dynamic, breezy art that makes each page a joy.

3) Over in 616 Iron Man, two things happen that make me happy: first, Tony gets his Stupid New Powers blocked, which is definitely a step in the right direction. Second, he's been ordered away from S.H.I.E.L.D and it'll be fun to see him go decidedly low-tech as he hunts for Gadget's killer. Also, more Mandarin, which is delightful.

4) Crime Bible: Five Lessons Of Blood was interesting and a bit shocking, and a nice intro to the new Question for those (like me) who ignored 52, Countdown, etc. I think I'll be staying with this 5-issue mini.

5) Special Mention for the most recent issue of Moon Knight, which was a satisfying conclusion to Huston's muddled, grotesque run that lost its way somewhere around issue 3. Beautiful, beautiful art as well.

6) Are we ever getting another issue of Fell, or is that done?

More later!

Bill Mantlo Spaceknight - Related News Update Snippet

2007-11-04T09:08:00.001-07:00

I know, rare weekend post for 2GBC, but since Blogger ate the Marvel reviews I have to redo those today anyway.

Meanwhile, alert reader Jason, owner (I assume) of Floating World Comics in Portland, sent along this article. He needs ROM:Spaceknight illos for a charity project he's putting together in honor of Bill Mantlo. You know what? Go, read the article, since it says everything I was going to say.

Short version: ROM illustrations + fundraising for Bill Mantlo = another Mantlo fundraiser to help out ol' Bill, and who can't get behind that?

Assload O' Reviews Week Will Continue Tomorrow

2007-11-01T08:38:00.000-07:00

The Marvel reviews are coming as well, I was just bone tired after trick-or-treating with the kids last night.

(For those who care, my sons went as an alien and a ninja, my daughter went as a 30's movie star, and I went as Walter Sobchak of The Big Lebowski fame.)

(Also, when you start being a dead ringer for any John Goodman character, it's probably time to start reviewing the ol' dietary habits. Just sayin'.)

Also, the Wanted trailer is out, which oddly makes me even less interested in seeing it than I was from just having read the comic.

Assload O' Reviews Week: DC Edition

2007-10-30T20:45:00.000-07:00

Alright, so I'm pretty sure by now that everyone who reads regularly knows there are only 5 or 6 DC books that I read with regularity, because after DC decided that 52 and Countdown were the tails that were going to wag the dog in the DCverse, I completely lost interest in most of the mainstream DC stuff.

That said, I'm willing to take a chance on Salvation Run, and maybe one or two other limited series coming down the pike, but I'm not really feeling DC these days, you know?

(Side Note: Judging by the bombardment of ads, I'm assuming this Lord Havok and the Extremists 8-issue mini by Frank Tieri isn't a joke. Seriously? Who asked for this? 8 issues? What the...?)

Oh, and can we get Hawkman back his own comic? Or has Hawkgirl morphed into something readable while I've been away?

MASSIVE (POSSIBLY MONTH-OLD) SPOILERS AHOY!

CHECKMATE #18-19 --- OK, I'm starting to feel like I'm shouting in an empty room here, but to me Checkmate is the most consistently engaging title DC's got going right now (not including my blind crush on anything Gail Simone's putting out these days), and now I hear whispers of cancellation or consolidation.

Which would be sad, because these two issues are the start of the story arc "Fall of the Wall", and I can't wait to see what Checkmate looks like after this. Dirty tricks, the Secret Six, Suicide Squad, Martian Manhunter, Shadowpact and even a couple of those Chinese folks that Grant Morrison dreamed up for 52 all play their part here, and it's the usual delicious brand of Ruckian backstabbing and counterplotting. Also: where the hell else are you going to get your King Faraday fix, huh? CBG: 4/5.

BIRDS OF PREY #110-111 --- I was admittedly unsure about whether to continue buying this after Gail Simone left, but darned if Tony Bedard hasn't done a heckuva job keeping the title light, fun, and personable with these two stand-alone issues. Issue #110 is a Huntress v. Atomic Skull Fan Club mission (I'm not even kidding about that), and #111 is Oracle v. Calculator at a software convention (wacky hijinx ensue). So yeah, I guess what I'm trying to say is that I'm glad I didn't stop buying BoP. Also: Bonus points for the line "Kid, your 'A-Skull' is an A-hole". CBG: 3/5.

JONAH HEX #24 --- As advertised, it's the Halloween issue, and it's a fun idea --- El Diablo possesses Jonah Hex while Bat Lash cracks wise --- but it's a tad confusing in the execution from an art perspective. Put it this way: if you're supposed to be fighting a town full of zombie ghosts and you can't tell which are the zombie ghosts and which are the normal people, that's not a good sign. Still, a fun idea and a nice bit of haunted Old West actioneering. CBG: 3/5.

(Side Note: I've bought every Hex issue since the relaunch, and I've learned this much over the last 24 issues --- Hex is a hundred times more interesting when he's got someone like Bat Lash or El Diablo to play off of. I'm not about to tell Palmiotti and Gray how to do their jobs, but let's just say that an Old West group title featuring these folks would be something I'd buy. Kind of like a DC Heroes version of the Wild Bunch.)

(Additional Side Note: Fanboy that I am, I'm now demanding this become a reality. Make it happen, DC.)

(Son of Additional Side Note: Yes, I realize this would sell all of 7 copies nationwide. I don't care.)

DETECTIVE COMICS #837 --- While I can't say I was really looking forward to my monthly Batman fix being replaced with a Riddler/Harley Quinn team-up issue, I guess in all fairness the title is "Detective Comics", and that's what we got here, with Eddie and Harley detecting their way into a fight with a new villain and a funny bit about the Amazons' Women Shelters/Self-Help Spa. Still, not what I was looking for and kind of a fill-in despite Dini's attempts to make the Riddler interesting. CBG: 2/5.

WONDER WOMAN #13 --- J. Torres sets the table for Gail Simone's upcoming run, and speaking as someone who abandoned the relaunch after Heinberg's ridiculous delays rendered the title irrelevant, I must say that I'm back into being interested in Wonder Woman again. This is a nice tie-up that establishes Diana's relationships with the world in general, and even manages to make Wonder Girl interesting for a few pages, no easy trick there. I'd be remiss if I didn't mention the terrific art by Julian Lopez. Plus: WW punches a Hydra in the neck! Also: the more I read references to Amazons Attack, the more glad I am that I ignored that completely. CBG: 4/5.

ALL-NEW ATOM #16 --- Ivy Town becomes converted into a 60's hippie paradise thanks to an evil alien and his reality-changing music machine, and it's up to the Atom to put a stop to the fiend! But can Atom stop the diabolical music-making robots that have Ivy Town under their spell? Guest-starring Ryak of the Linear Men! And now you know why I keep referring to this comic as "Silver-Agey". CBG: 3/5.

GREEN LANTERN CORPS #16-17 --- It's all about the Sinestro Corps War at this point, and once again I'm kind of shocked that I'm enjoying the story as well as I am even though I'm not reading the core GL title or any of the one-shots; that's a testament to both Dave Gibbons and Eddie Berganza. Either way, the story here progresses in ways I thought it would --- the Corps destroy Ranx and everyone heads to earth for the final showdown --- but the big development here is that the Guardians have authorized the use of lethal force from the rings, and I'm not sure how I feel about that.

Smartly, Gibbons has the Corpsmen voice both sides of the issue, and while I sure hope it's not a lasting change in the GLC ethos, it's a dramatic turn of events that really raises the stakes in the closing issues of the arc. Action-packed, crazy battles, money moments, and ohbytheway... Ion's back and he's going to smack the living shit out of Superboy Prime. Hee. CBG: 4/5

The Only Essential Moon Knight Vol. 2 Review You'll Ever Need

2007-10-29T11:24:00.000-07:00

So, to kickoff the Assload O' Reviews week, we'll start with the only TPB I bought, to wit: Essential Moon Knight Vol.2 .

Er--- wow.

Maybe it's the craftsmanship of the comics inside, maybe it's the goddamned wonderful Bill Sienkiewicz art, maybe it's the fun inclusion of extras like the editor notes that were in the original comics, or maybe it's the bonus Bill S. portraits at the end, but damn --- this is qua-la-tee material for 18 bucks.

So much to like here, including appearances by Thing and Daredevil, a great introduction to the ludicrously-named Stained Glass Scarlet, and the quasi-famous Moon Knight #26, the one where Sienkiewicz decided he'd gone as high as he could with this character and decided to move on.

(All credit in the world to Doug Moench for that ish as well. If you've never read it, it's an affecting and powerful look at the cycle of abuse that doesn't feel maudlin or contrived --- you really do have to read it.)

And two things that I can't overstate enough:

1) It's easy to forget in today's world of "reaction panels" and "cinematic storytelling" just how freakin' dense comics used to be, how much actual storytelling you got for 75 cents. This is a great reminder of how comics used to be, you know, actual value for your entertainment less-than-a-dollar.

2) If you've ever wondered what the big deal is about Sienkiewicz, look no further. MK is really my favorite monthly example of his style, and especially in black-and-white the intricate linework and surreal detail in every wrinkle, cigarette, and hubcap is just phenomenal.

In short, this is one of the few Essentials I'd recommend to people who aren't necessarily fans of the core title, and definitely the one I'd use to convince people that the Essentials are worth their time.

Tomorrow: Pamphlets! Floppies! Monthlies! Whatever you call 'em, we've got 'em! Reviewed!

It's Really Not My Fault

2007-10-26T03:13:00.000-07:00

So, some shitheel sets fire to California and all of a sudden my workload triples, because that's where Frobozz Software, Inc. has its data center/server farms, and the engineers are too busy "evacuating" to complete the tasks I've assigned them.

Hope you're OK, guys, and you know who you are.

Meanwhile, astute reader Gary Smith points out that our little blog got a mention (and a mistype) from legendary comics writer Keith "SpaceKnights Ho!" Giffen over at Wizard's website.

First off: we buy all the comics we review here at 2GBC, otherwise we'd be just another "I work at a comics store so I can review everything published this week because I get them for free" blog, and those guys are generally assholes with no concept of value-for-comics-dollar.

So yeah? Fuck you, people with free time who work at comics stores who can review everything within 30 seconds of the issues hitting the shelves. Just sayin'.

Also: We are TOTALLY jealous of you.

Anyhoo: in re: the Giffen review:

Positives: Keith Giffen acknowledges and misspells our existence.

Negatives: We're compared to a convention encounter. Plus, I still haven't posted reviews. Note that this will not keep 2GBC from posting a pull quote from Giffen:

"They read, they blog, they seem to be having fun. This blog is, to me, the Internet equivalent of a convention encounter: 'I read the book, here’s what I think.' Can’t fault that."

We are officially counting that, friends, as a ringing endorsement. Keith Giffen cannot fault our blog, and how many of you can say that, hmmmm?

P.S. Keith: I will pay a large amount of dollars for you to convince Joe Quesada to get the ROM:SpaceKnight licence back and let you write the first 12 issues. This needs to be done. Let's talk. Marlowespade1@aol.com is the e-mail address.

Coming on Monday: So many reviews you, dear reader, will shit your pants. So bring fresh underwear. I mean it.

Yes, Yes, But First...

2007-10-19T09:57:00.000-07:00

Writing the reviews as we speak, but had to let you know --- saw this over at the 'Rama:

900 pages of Hembeckery for just south of 17 bucks?

I'm in.

More info here.

Go, pre-order.

Holy Jesus, Comics Are Coming

2007-10-18T10:18:00.000-07:00

Today. As God is my witness. And if it turns out there's no God, then there's a spider on my desk staring at me as I write this and he'll be my witness.

(Yes, I'm a little off today.)

It's Been A Bad Year For Cap

2007-10-12T08:33:00.000-07:00

...and if the new Alex Ross-designed look is any indication, things aren't getting better any time soon. To wit:

Look, the "classic" Cap costume we're all familiar with is patently ridiculous, over-the-top, and totally awesome.

This thing makes Captain America look like... well frankly it makes him look like U.S. Agent (which, for the uninitiated, is not a good thing).

I'm struggling with the point of all this, since it's been confirmed that this isn't Steve Rogers anyway. (Which pushes this even farther into U.S. Agent territory.)

The whole thing has a very Iron Spider-like smell to it, and that smell makes me vomit.

Commerce 2.0

2007-10-08T08:25:00.000-07:00

Apparently, Newsarama got bought by the dudes what run Space.com and LiveScience.

I have no idea what this means, but I cannot tell you how excited I am for the possibility that we can now either A) Shoot Joe Quesada into space, or B) Cryogenically freeze DC continuity for awhile.

Sadly, it just means we're now more likely to get video Quesada interviews and hard-to-navigate "portals" with links to softball interviews...

Off-Topic: The Greatest Game Of All

2007-10-02T00:56:00.000-07:00

I know this might scare a few comic fans, but stay with me: if you don't believe that sports is every bit as filled with irrational love, hate, fear, and desire as comic fandom, then you've never been a sports fan.

That said, I dearly love the NFL --- football is a great cathartic analytical sport, and no one cheers as loudly for my beloved Tampa Bay Buccaneers (yes, I even own the tangerine replica jersey with my name on it, as well as a helmet with the old-school Gay Winking Pirate) as I do.

But baseball is my first love, and always will be.

Steroids? Don't much care. Labor strikes? I'll always come back, even if you did cancel the 1994 World Series. Cancelling the greatest All-Star game of all time? Eh, it was exhibition anyway.

My point is that nothing --- nothing --- can keep me from relishing the renewal of spring training, dogging out the hot days of summer, and devotedly following the crunch time in September. Baseball is awesome.

And I just watched the second-greatest game of my lifetime. But first, numbers (1) and (3) on that particular list.

1) This will always be the Mike Scott no-hitter on Sept. 25. 1986. I was 10 years old, and it was my first professional baseball game. I lived in Houston, and the Astros faced the San Francisco Giants in the Astrodome. I remember being awed by the size of the place --- and to see my team, my team --- win, and to see Mike refusing to give up a hit in that game --- well, you could say that was when I really started to love baseball. Because I swear my heart has never beat faster than waiting on that final out, after 9 2/3 innings, and to see Will Clark (Will Clark!) , Giants mainstay ground out to Glenn Davis to give my team the division title in a no hitter, nearly gave me a heart attack at age 10. That's when I knew I loved this game.

3) Fast-forward to 2005. My Astros are playing the Braves in Game 4 of the NLDS, and it lasts 18 friggin' innings. Roger Clemens (Roger Clemens!) comes into the game in the 15th as a relief pitcher (a relief pitcher!) to try and seal the deal and send us to the NLCS. Finally in the dying throes of the 18th (18th!) inning, just as I turn to my wife and say, "That's it, I don't think our guys have anything left in the tank", 25-year-old Chris Burke, a no-name brought in as a pinch runner in the 10th, smacks a home run that must have landed somewhere in the Gulf of Mexico. After nearly 6 (6!) hours, we had won.

And now, this.

The San Diego Padres and the Colorado Rockies played a 1-game playoff to determine the winner of the NL wild card this year.

13 innings.

The all-time best closer in all of baseball.

A come-from-behind victory.

The winning run scored on that most noblest of hits, the sacrifice.

The Padres had scored taken a 2 run lead in the top of the 13th inning to surely salt away the victory --- things didn't just look bleak, they looked over for the Rockies.

And then?

And then Matt Holliday hits a triple, driving in a man to tie the game.

All-time saves record holder Trevor Hoffman blowing the save in the biggest game of his career? Does. Not. Happen.

But tonight it did. Who-dat Jamey Carroll hits a short fly ball to right field and Holliday scores the winning run, digging the Rockies out of an impossible hole. And just like that, the Padres season is over, and the Rockies' season has just begun.

Watching the players from both teams during and afterwards the game, I was reminded why I love baseball. It's the only game where you can see the players thinking, fearing, hoping, sweating, building the unbearable tension from the minute the pitcher throws the ball to the minute the play is over, and the sheer release of joy and despair is evident on every players' face, and I think: they won. Or they lost. And I feel drained from having just been a witness.

So, yeah. I love baseball, and nothing --- nothing --- is ever going to change that.

And here's to you, Rockies. Thanks for an evening I'll never forget.

I Figured It Out

2007-09-26T13:24:00.000-07:00

Remember when I said Eric Canete's work reminded me of a MAD Magazine artist but I couldn't think of who it was?

I just got it.

Jack Davis.

Nice work, Eric!

Hey Now!

2007-09-25T10:53:00.000-07:00

Fishing? Awesome. Comics? Not so much.

More in a bit.

Gone Fishin'

2007-09-20T11:00:00.000-07:00

Literally. I'm leaving today for 4 glorious days up at a northern Arizona cabin to fish and drink, though not necessarily in that order.

Thanks for the helpful info in the last post; stay tuned on Monday to see who I listened to and who I didn't!

In the meantime:

BWAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAH!

Help A Brother Out

2007-09-19T10:22:00.000-07:00

Another skimpy pull list this week for yours truly, so does anyone have anything new I should try? Just askin'. Maybe an indie or small press comic that I'd enjoy.

P.S. JLA Hitman #1 is already on the list, despite being neither indie or small press.

Longest. Meme. Ever...

2007-09-18T00:00:00.000-07:00

...so if you're one of those "I only read comics to look at the pictures" types, this will seem wordy to you.

(Actually, if you're one of those "Jesus Christ, will this guy ever write a sentence that doesn't run 879 words" people, this will also seem wordy to you as well.) But it's a fun geekery exercise, and Lord knows my brain can always use exercise. Also, I blame Kalinara.

First, select your ten fictional characters (from any medium) by whichever method you like best. Then answer the questions below.

1. Philip Marlowe
2. Iron Man
3. Captain Kirk
4. Batman
5. Indiana Jones
6. Sherlock Holmes
7. Dr. Gregory House
8. Hawkgirl
9. Dean Keaton (Gabriel Byrne's character in The Usual Suspects)
10. Arthur Dent

(Note: Right off the bat here I'm courting criticism from Mrs. 2GBC because I only had one female character, and she's of the spandex-clad variety. What can I say? I'm a guy. I identify with male characters more often than females. Let's just assume I lose the argument and move on.)

1. Divide the list up by even and odd. Which group of five would make a better Five Man Band (like a Power Rangers team)? Who would you slot in each position: Leader, Lancer (second-in-command), Big Guy, Smart Guy, The Chick? If you think the team would be improved by swapping one character between the even and odd groups, which ones would you switch?

See, this is what I get for only having one woman. Crap. That'll learn me.

Team A: Philip Marlowe, Kirk, Indiana Jones, Dr. House and Dean Keaton
Team B: Iron Man, Batman, Sherlock Holmes, Hawkgirl, Arthur Dent

Well geez, I certainly know which team I'm calling if Braniac's threatening Metropolis, now don't I? Cripes.

Team A Roster:

Leader --- Captain Kirk (I mean, really. Like there's a choice here?)
Lancer --- Marlowe (He knows how to both give orders and take 'em, when to shut up and when to talk.)
Big Guy --- Indy (Likely the most physically gifted, and handy with swords, guns and whips.)
Smart Guy --- Dean Keaton (Scheming bastard. I'd take two of him if I could.)
Chick --- Er. Sorry, House. (Only one left. Plus, is the "chick" role defined by just being female? You know what, let's stop right there before I get myself in any more hot water.)

Team B Roster:

Leader --- Batman (If I didn't put him in charge, he'd just do whatever he wants to anyway.)
Lancer --- Iron Man (Avengers experience being second in command)
Big Guy --- Hawkgirl (I know, I know. But she's the only one left who can really swing a mace.)
Smart Guy --- Sherlock Holmes (If you don't know why... seek help. Or a library.)
Chick --- Arthur Dent (Um. I... that is... process of elimination, and all that.)

We're not switching anyone, because dammit, this is my hole I dug all by myself and I'm not backing out now.

(Side Note: I am almost positive I will regret this later. I should really read the entire meme before jumping into it.)

2. Gender-swap 2, 8 & 10. Which character would have the most change in their story arc? Which the least? Would any of these characters have to have a complete personality change to be believable as the opposite sex?

Out of Iron Man, Hawkgirl and Arthur Dent? Weird. Arthur's arc (such as it is) changes the least, I think, because really aside from his crush on Trillian he's more of a reader stand-in than anything else. Hawkgirl becoming... er... Hawkguy doesn't really make a whole hell of a lot of difference other than having that whole "eternal love for Katar Hol" thing a bit more salacious to conservative types.

Now, Iron Man as Iron Woman? Love the idea. Love, love, love it. First off, you've got the added dimension of being a female genius billionaire industrialist who has the added burden of getting past the chauvinism one encounters in the business world. Second, the "womanizing" aspect of Tony gets reversed, and I'd be interested to see how that plays out in the Marvel Universe and with reader perceptions.

Sweet Fancy Moses, I think I just wrote the best Iron Man story of the last 20 years. This will be expanded upon in a later post, I promise you that. OK, so far, the meme has been worth the time just for that thought alone. Fuckin' A!

3. Compare the matchups of 1 & 8 and 5 & 9. (Ignore canon sexual preferences for the moment.) Which couple would be more compatible? Which couple would be more plausible to people from either principal's home culture?

Philip Marlowe + Hawkgirl vs. Indiana Jones and Dean Keaton.

Marlowe and Kendra Saunders? Holy Christ, there's another idea for an awesome comic! This meme is a goddamn gold mine! Those two would go together like peanut butter and chocolate. Somebody cook me up an Elseworlds title, stat!

Indy and Dean Keaton would stink together, mainly because they'd never, ever trust one another (although they both share a love for easy money).

Plausibility? Marlowe and Hawkgirl, easy. He lives in L.A., where if you saw a married couple consisting of a man and a woman dressed as a bird flying it wouldn't even crack the top 30 on the list of "strangest things I saw today while walking down the street".

Seriously. Marlowe. Hawkgirl. Busting crime and busting heads! I may not be able to think of anything else all day. Bless you, Kalinara!

4. Your team is 3, 4 & 9. The mission consists of a social challenge, a mental challenge and a physical challenge. Which team member do you assign to each challenge?

So this team consists of Captain Kirk, Batman, and Dean Keaton.

In the words of Rorshach, "Hurm."

Well, Dean Keaton is the consummate con man --- he's gotta be the go-to guy on the social challenge. I'm giving Batman the mental task, since it's pretty well established that he's the Smartest Dude To Dress Up In A Rodent Costume Ever, and that counts for something. Kirk takes the physical duties, because I never get tired of watching the Double Jimmy/Two-Fisted Strike With Interwoven Fingers. (Get your mind out the gutter.)

5. 7 becomes 1's boss for a week in some plausible fashion. How's their working relationship?

BWAHAHAHAH! House as Marlowe's boss? That's... terrible. I give it two days at most. Neither could stand each other, although Marlowe would play it cool, even after House made some snide remark about wearing socks with clocks on them.

6. 2 finds him/her/itself inserted into 6's continuity. As far as anyone other than 2 or 6 is concerned, they've always been there. What role would 2 be presumed to have had in 6's story, and could they fit in without going wonky?

Iron Man in Sherlock Holmes stories? And the brilliant Elseworlds ideas just keep on coming. Iron Man would fit in beautifully --- he's the mad inventor always coming up with machines to do the detective work, and Holmes would swoop in at the end to reveal the criminal scheme with something Iron Man lacks --- the understanding of human nature. This thing writes itself.

7. 3 and 5 get three wishes. The catch is that they have to agree on all three wishes before they get the benefits of any of them. What three wishes would they make?

Kirk and Indy, huh?

1) Women, beautiful ones, in abundance, and keep 'em coming.
2) Knowledge of history preserved in museums for all to see forever and ever.
3) Eternal youth. (Avoids the toupee and paunch we all know they eventually develop.)

8. 1 and 2 are brainwashed by a one-time artifact that works even on people immune to mind control to attack and kill 4. They keep their normal personality, skills and competence level, except any Code vs. Killing has been turned off. Can 4 survive? How?

Jesus, I didn't know there would be math involved. Let's see... Marlowe and Iron Man sent to kill Batman... wait... so the question boils down to "Can Batman Survive and How"?

I'll go with "Yes" and "Any Way He Damn Well Wants To".

9. 6, 7, 9 & 10 must help an orphanage full of small and depressed children have a merry Christmas. Who does what, knowing that at the very least the kids will be expecting a visit from Santa?

Sherlock Holmes: Arranges the subterfuge necessary to convince the children that Santa is present, with reindeer and everything by planting physical evidence like reindeer droppings. What?

House is, of course, Santa, only he's Grumpy Hobbling Santa With A Cane And Five O'Clock Shadow And Crippling Drug Addiction, because we all know he's kind of a big teddy bear way, way, way, way down deep.

Dean Keaton pulls off the heist of the Toys 'R Us to acquire the presents.

Arthur Dent stands around and drinks tea.

10. 3 and 8 are challenged to circumnavigate the Earth in eighty days or less, using only forms of transportation invented before 1900. Can they do it, or will they be fatally distracted by sidequests or their own personality conflicts?

So many questions here. Does Kirk hitting on Kendra count as "fatally distracted"? Do Nth metal wings count as transportaion invented before 1900? Is hot, hot unspoken sexual attraction a "personality conflict"? I don't know if they'd make it, but I'd sure as hell read the comic.

Hey, let's do like Kali and tag everybody!

(Now if you'll excuse me, I've gotta go write that Marlowe/Hawkgirl script.)

Chris' Reviews 9/12

2007-09-17T08:00:00.000-07:00

Smallish pull list last week, so I picked up some stuff that looked intriguing; in other news, I read quite possible the single worst comic I've read all year, and that's not even using the standard 2GBC Hyperbole Quotient. Massive Spoilers Ahoy!

THOR #3

Well, color me surprised that so far Thor has been as good as it has been. I think the Stracyzinsky/Gaiman/Whoever premise of putting Thor in Oklahoma is unique, charming, and makes for a neat setup. Additionally, the idea that he has to go about the planet "waking" up his fellow gods makes for a quest with some longevity; don't get me wrong, in about two issues I need to see some hammer throwin' against Mephisto or something, but for now, I think we're good.

Of course, that's due in large part to the fact that the Thor v. Iron Man confrontation was something we've been waiting for for about a year and a half; and I must say, it doesn't disappoint. Thor's verbal smackdown of Tony is just withering, and if you know anyone who didn't think Tony was a complete shitheel during Civil War, well, just fax them a copy of page 8 and then wait by the phone for their apology.

Also, I've never been so happy to see Iron Man get smacked like a Hank Aaron home run, electrocuted, nearly strangled, and cracked like an eggshell. Oh Thor, you silly God of Thunder, your wacky antics never fail to entertain!

Meantime, there's a touching bit with Heimdall, and some plot hammering regarding Asgard's status that had to be gotten out of the way sooner rather than later (despite Tony's completely wrong interpretation of what defines U.S. territory), and nice art to boot.

Best Moment: SHRAKOOOM!, which apparently is the sound a lightning bolt makes when it's zapping billionaire industrialist dickheads.

Worst Moment: I admit, I got a bit verklempt at the sad, insane guy stuck with Heimdall's soul in way that totally did NOT remind me of Star Trek III. Nope. Not at all. Nosiree.

Comic Book Goodness: 4/5. A payoff moment, the return of a familiar face, and have I mentioned it's nice to have Thor back? Also, SHRAKOOOM!

JLA WEDDING SPECIAL #1

So, I figured I'd get back into the JLA once McDuffie came aboard, and figured "why not jump on board with the one-shot?" The results were, um, mixed.

There's essentially 4 parts to the issue:

1) The bachelor party for Ollie, in which Hal acts like a doofus, John Stewart gets a line that pretty much defines why he's such a cool character, Batman is Batman, and a bunch of archers stand around skeeving me out with references to Ollie's sex life. This part is generally good.

2) Firestorm and Floaty Head Girl Who's Not Professor Stein (I'm not up on my Firestorm developments, so someone can explain who she is in the comments) duke it out with Killer Frost, who has Power Suit Luthor, Action Figure Cheetah, and Zoot Suit Joker along for backup, and that goes about as well as you'd think it would, ending with a score of Firestorm 0, Villains 2,344.

3) Lex assembles all the villains into a new Injustice League, which... you know, probably is the way things should be, except I just got done reading Justice, so it wasn't a particularly shocking development since I kind of assumed that all the DC villains were already working together. Also, it always bothers me when the Joker is lumped into supervillain teams, because the Joker doesn't give two farts about anyone but himself.

4) Batman and Roy (Red Arrow? Speedy?) investigate the crime scene from (2) above, Wonder Woman and Hawkgirl visit Firestorm in the hospital and get ambushed by Dr. Light, Joker, Polarity, and Cheetah in a fight scene that's frankly kind of bad. The issue ends with a broken Kendra getting back to the Hall of Justice and Superman saying "The party's over!" (Eeesh.)

Sprinkled throughout are nods to McDuffie's work on the animated Justice League Unlimited, and while I'm still excited to read his ongoing JLA, there was just too much of nothing happening in this issue that couldn't decide whether it wanted to be a JLA action issue or behind-the-scenes character piece. Ultimately it comes up short at both.

Best Moment: The opening pages with Lex, Joker, and Cheetah parodying Brad Meltzer's opening pages of his JLA run, with the three trying to decide who's in the new Injustice League.

Worst Moment: I thought the Firestorm section was hard to follow and out of place, but then that's generally how I've always felt about Firestorm.

Comic Book Goodness: 2/5. At 4 bucks, I expected something other than a disjointed set-up piece, or something that actually had to do with, you know, the wedding. I understand now the point is to set up McDuffie's run, but still this one left me kind of cold (except for the fact that John Stewart's going to be in the League). Also: is it me or did the strippers that Hal hired remind anyone else of Marvel's X-Men Rogue, Psylocke, and Storm? Hee!

MOON KNIGHT #12

Oh, Sweet Jumpin' Waffles, this comic was awful. I mean, awful.

Forget --- try to forget, anyway (it's damn near impossible since there's pages where Tony Stark and his goons show up again to grill Marc Spector over Cap's visit) --- that this issue takes place before the end of Civil War. I have no problems with issues told in flashback, but this is the second issue in a row that does this, and the action is so muddled, the dialogue boxes so confusing, the characters so badly developed that I had to read it three times to understand (kinda) what happened.

And I hate reading bad comics more than once.

The gore is more gratuitous than ever (and for this comic, that's saying something), there's at least three Whiskey Tango Foxtrot moments where characters do things out of the blue for no apparent motivation, and everybody generally behaves like murderous six-year olds. It's Terrible with a capital "T", and it's off the pull list for good. Randy tells me there's a new writer coming on board, and I can only hope that what started with an interesting premise for Moon Knight's return somehow gets back on track. Also, I'd still like to know what the hell happened in this issue.

Best Moment: "Hello, Local Comic Shop? It's Chris. Please burn any remaining copies of this comic. It's for the best. Think of the children."

Worst Moment: "Maybe if I read it a third time it'll start to make sense."
Comic Book Goodness: 0/5. In retrospect, I really should have just taken my three dollars and lit them on fire.

SUICIDE SQUAD #1

Well, I won't lie; I've been waiting for this one for awhile. Oddly, though the entire thing takes place before Infinite Crisis (actually, it takes place even before Identity Crisis), the editorial message at the bottom of the first page tells us that it takes place before Salvation Run. Whatever. Not the point.

The point is that Ostrander's back with the Squad, and tell me if this seems familiar: Amanda Waller is leading them into a trap, Deadshot's trigger-happy, they're fighting old-school villains in the form of The People's Heroes (Pravda! Bolshoi! Molotov! Hee!), and nobody has any respect for Captain Boomerang. Plus: dinosaurs!

It all reads like it was written about 20 years ago, and I'm actually OK with that. There's a few disquieting moments --- Puma, for instance, falls for the tried-and-true Explosive In The Head trick --- and if Waller seems a tad out of character at times, I think it's because this is actually closer to where she was back when she was running the Squad, rather than her animated counterpart (or even Checkmate version).

Can't say I'd recommend this for everyone, but if you have any love for the old Squad or just are a fan of villain team-ups (and really, who isn't?), you'll probably dig this.

Best Moment: Is it wrong that I still get a kick when dinosaurs show up unexpectedly in superhero comics? No? Good.

Worst Moment: "Boomerbutt" once is kinda funny. "Boomerbutt" multiple times starts to get irritating. Just sayin'.

Comic Book Goodness: 3/5. Solid work, about what I expected, and for an eight-issue series I think it'll do nicely to soothe my Secret Six withdrawal.

FALLEN ANGEL #20 --- On the plus side, it feels like forever since we've actually been in Bete Noire, and it's good to be back. This issue focuses on Jude coming to terms with the fact that he's trapped in the city, and the efforts of Jubal to undermine his faith. That said, the art by Dennis Calero is all over the map here, ranging from "effective" to "that page looks like it took about two minutes to draw", and it hurts more than helps. It's better than usual after a lackluster four issues or so, and let's hope things get even darker in the next. CBG: 2/5.

X-FACTOR #23 --- A rare (in my book) so-so week for Peter David, as X-Factor starts to show crossover fungus developing on it, what with Huber exposed as the villain we knew him to be and the Somewhat Less Than Astonishing X-Men showing up and behaving like dorks. Major hooks into Endangered Species, and the setup for the upcoming Messiah Complex notwithstanding, the end leaves three of our heroes (four if you count a dupe) stranded in Antarctica, which could --- and should --- make for a highly entertaining next ish. CBG: 2/5.

3 Items Of Note

2007-09-14T11:04:00.000-07:00

1) While I wasn't looking, 2GBC turned 2 years old! Granted, probably a fourth or so of that timespan didn't have any actual, you know, posts, but hey; we'll take milestones where we can get 'em.

2) Didn't finish up reviews catch-up today because I'm actually reading comics that came out this week, and we'll review those on Monday instead. (And hoo boy, was Thor #3 satisfying or what?)

3) Non-comics related note: I dare anyone to watch Burn Notice on USA and not be hooked. It's funny, smart, sexy, and brilliantly acted. It's also, incidentally, the best modern-day take on Philip Marlowe I've seen in a long time; the setting and circumstances are different, but at his core, Michael Westen is Philip Marlowe in Miami. Great, great TV, and I'm glad I let my friends talk me into giving it a shot.

Have a great weekend!

Review Catch-Up Pt. II

2007-09-13T11:06:00.000-07:00

OK, here we go, spoilers, etc., you get the picture.

FLASH #231 --- Waid's back, and so is Wally, Linda, and the twins, and they're a crimefightin' fam-a-lee! Bottom line is that this feels like a Flash book again, and it's bookended with the kids rescuing people from a ferry disaster in Keystone and some giant horribly betentacled monster attacking them. In between, a little history as to how we got here, a few seeds of marital discord, and a few one-liners. The only thing I didn't like was Daniel Acuna's artwork, which just seemed a bit too indistinct and muddy for me, though that may be a personal taste thing. CBG: 3/5.

CHECKMATE #17 --- A great little done-in-one showing how Checkmate's hiring practices deviate somewhat from, say, GE or IBM. (Although, strangely, they're identical to the way I imagine Microsoft tests new employee candidates.) The Villain Formerly Known As Deathtrap applies for the job of Castellan (that's the castle's security director), and Rucka and Eric Trautmann give us an amazingly 3-D picture of Deathtrap's thoughts, fears, and motivations. I continue to be amazed that this book doesn't garner more attention. CBG: 4/5.

JONAH HEX #22-23 --- Well, JH #22 is basically an alternate script treatment for The Prestige that (like the movie) contains way more talking than is good for a story that ultimately doesn't really end, it just stops. Don't bother with it. JH #23 is a different animal, told as a flashback to school children. You're not going to believe this, but Hex fights some Native Americans --- but the bad guys really turn out to be the mustachioed white army officers! I know! Can you believe it? I totally did not see that coming! Le sigh. CBG: 2/5.

DETECTIVE COMICS #835-836 --- This has to be the laziest Batman story I've read in a long time; by relying on reader assumptions, stacked coincidences, and just plain wrong-headedness, this two-parter casts Scarecrow as a vicious serial killer who essentially kills people for fun now in broad daylight and taunts the local police... you know, just like every other serial killer ever. So instead of a somewhat fascinating villain with unique motives, John Rozum turns him into Generic Killer #446.

The plot holes are so big you can drive six starships through them --- Arkham has a "general population"? Why do they let him have his mask and stuff? How is he unseen in broad daylight? Why does Batman want to kill him? --- and too numerous to list all of them. Paul Dini, please answer the white courtesy phone. Your party is trying to reach good Batman comics. CBG: 0/5.

X-FACTOR #22 --- You're probably tired of me praising this comic, but I don't care. It's really good, with great characters and dialogue. In this issue, there's pity sex, a traitor in the ranks, and an interesting new villain who wants to use the Endangered Species Act of 1973 to protect mutantkind. Plus, Guido gets off the line: "You should see some of the skinks I've dated." This issue has a lot of pieces moving into place; if you're not reading this, I'm legitimately curious as to why. Loses a few points for the stupid "Endangered Species" back-up story with Beast swallowing Dark Beast's memories or some shit that totally reminds me why I don't read about the X-Men anymore. CBG: 3/5.

CAPTAIN AMERICA #29 --- To be frank, absolutely nothing of note happens until the last page, when Bucky gets captured by Lukin, Sin, and Crossbones. The rest is a bunch of hemming and hawing and not-really-action that reads like the first 600 pages of a Tom Clancy book, the boring part where everyone is trying to figure out what's going on and that just keeps on going forever and ever and everyone is chasing everyone else but they don't know it and OHMYGOD WILL SOMEONE SHOOT SOMEONE ALREADY?!? Yeah, it's like that. I can't decide if it should gain points or lose points for showing Sharon Carter vomiting while holding an AIM beekeeper at gunpoint. CBG: 2/5.

Tomorrow: Birds of Prey, Green Lantern Corps, and The All-New Atom!

Review Catch-Up, Pt. I: All Iron Man Edition!

2007-09-12T10:48:00.001-07:00

We're kind of all over the map here, but I wanted to get reviews out today before everyone stops reading for the last time, even if these comics are a bit dated in some cases. Ha! Ha! I am, of course, kidding. Ish.

OK, need to get the Iron Man stuff out of the way today, then the other reviews (Detective, Captain America, X-Factor, Green Lantern Corps, Jonah Hex, Checkmate, Birds of Prey) tomorrow. As always.... Massive Spoilers Ahoy!

IRON MAN #20 - #21

Well, on the one hand, #20 was the World War Hulk tie-in, and served zero purpose other than to illustrate that:

A) Dum Dum Dugan has a grudging respect for Tony Stark, which, you know, blah, and

B) Tony has a doomsday weapon that will level Manhattan and everyone in it should it come to that, which, you know, stupid.

Because we already know that Marvel's not killing off 95% of their heroes, and I don't think even Quesada would blow up two American cities in one year, right? RIGHT?!?

Which means this ish is a lot of pointless yammering between Dugan and Tony (who's captive and talking through his suit via his Stupid New Powers™. The only redeeming factor: I confess, I didn't know Dum Dum's real name was "Tim".

(Side Note: Then again, it might be funnier if it wasn't Tim, and Tony was just being a douchebag, intentionally calling him by a different wrong name every issue on account of the fact that the executive officer of SHIELD probably shouldn't have a name like Dum Dum if for no other reason than it's not really building public confidence, is it? See? Why aren't I writing Iron Man?)

(Additional Side Note: Yay! The run-on sentences are back!)

Buckle up and grab on tight, though, because reading the next issue (#21) right after this one is likely to give you whiplash, as we're yanked back into the Knauf's Mandarin storyline, there's no mention of WWH, Tony's still Director of SHIELD, etc. And two quasi-notable things happen here:

1) Graviton crushes an Initiative hero into a little ball made of hero and steel, which... Graviton? Someone decided we need to give Graviton some teeth? And didn't the Sentry throw him into the sun last year? I'm just baffled, because this is twice now that the Knaufs have used Graviton in their run, and we hadn't seen him once in like eight years before that.

2) Regular readers will note that I've generally liked the Knaufs' run thus far; this is true, but for the love of God get on with it, already. I know WWH intervened for a couple months, but it's taking far too long to get to some supervillain bashing, and frankly I'm getting bored with SHIELD.

That said, the stuff showing how Gadget (the smushed hero ball I mentioned earlier)'s death affect Tony is pretty well done, and the Maya Hansen reveal (she's working for Mandy now) is an interesting move, though I can't help but feel that they wasted two potentially good supporting characters for Tony too early (and, let's not forget, they killed Happy Hogan.)

Best Moment: I really can't think of one, for either comic, and that's not a good thing.

Worst Moment: Hey, look everybody! Tony Stark has a doomsday weapon! And Tim Dugan is the only one he trusts to employ it, which.... WTF? Avenger much, Tony? I can smell the lazy writing from here! (Also: "Tim".)

Comic Book Goodness: 1/5, but there's hope for the future. As much as I like the WWH main event, the two IM tie-ins have been wastes of issues, and Mandarin storyline needs to get going yesterday.

So, that's the state of in-continuity Iron Man. On the other hand...

IRON MAN: ENTER THE MANDARIN #1

Joe Casey writes, Eric Canete draws, and while I'm not sure what the point is (which, sadly, is a feeling I get with most of Casey's Marvel work) , it's charming in its own way.

Basically updating the Mandarin's origin story, but in a way that we don't even see most of it (!), this shows Iron Man being asked to investigate some mysterious new power broker in China (guess who), Mandarin telling the Chinese government that he's more powerful than they are (and that takes waaaaaaay too long), and IM and Mandy getting ready to throw down by issue's end.

I mentioned early on that it's charming, right? That's due almost entirely to Eric Canete's artwork, which is so different from your standard superhero fare that it reminds me more of something you'd see in Mad Magazine, believe it or not (and I'm thinking of a specific MAD artist, but damned if I can remember his name). And I think it works beautifully, really setting itself apart style-wise.

Best Moment: Seeing Tony, Happy, Pepper and company interacting like we're used to seeing them, back in the day. This is definitely old-school.

Worst Moment: That whole pissing match between Mandy and the Chinese generals could have (and probably should have) been done in one page.

Comic Book Goodness: 3/5. Interested to see how they're getting 6 issues out of this, I love the artwork, and it's old-school Iron Man. Yeah, I'm on board.

Cheap Shot Central!

2007-09-11T19:18:00.000-07:00

Apologies if this joke has already been made elsewhere, but...

I showed the cover of Jonah Hex #23 to my co-worker at Frobozz Software:

His response?

"Oh, is that the big wedding issue?"

Ba-DUM-dum! Thank you! I'll be here all week!

Meanwhile, still finishing up reviews, mainly trying to decide if the last issue of Birds of Prey was good, ridiculous, or offensive.

Holy Fucking Christmas In May 2008

2007-09-10T12:26:00.000-07:00

I mean, um, so, the trailer's out now.

Also: comics reviews tomorrow. See? I told you we'd be back!

Yes, We're Aware Of The Date...

2007-09-04T13:16:00.000-07:00

...but to be honest, we kind of pulled that whole 9/1 date we mentioned out of our ass, and didn't realize that it'd be a Saturday, so there.

That said.

I think we might be on hiatus for awhile longer. It's not you, it's me. Back in a week or so.

Reports Of Our Demise Have Been Slightly Exaggerated

2007-08-22T13:18:00.000-07:00

No, we're not dead, just busy and pissed at comics.

We're also trying to get a screenplay written.

We're also in the throes of football season fast-approaching.

We're also working 50 hours a week.

We'll be back Sept. 1. Promise.

Mike Weiringo, R.I.P.

2007-08-13T10:03:00.000-07:00

Details can be found here.

I still can't believe it. What a fucking way to start the week.

EDIT: Hey Marvel/DC, how about some sort of mention on your website, fucktards?

Anger.

A Word About Starlord

2007-08-08T08:28:00.000-07:00

I'd just like to say 3 things about Starlord #1, out last week and part of the Annihilation:Conquest series of pre-minis.

1) Keith Giffen really is a fanboy with the will to power, isn't he? How else do you get away with selling Quesada and co. on the idea of a team consisting of Mantis (MANTIS!), Rocket Raccoon, Captain Universe, a Shi'ar, a bug, and a giant tree? I get the feeling that he'd have put ROM in there as well, if stupid Marvel would ever get the license back.

(Side Note: Marvel, if you ever do get ROM:Spaceknight back in action, you should pay Giffen or Busiek howevermany wheelbarrows of cash it takes to get them to write it as an ongoing. We would also accept Jeff Parker or Brian K. Vaughan.)

2) The art is just outstanding, with Timothy Green II doing his best Lee Bermejo impersonation (particularly in the back half of the issue) and managing to make even Rocket Raccoon look intimidating, particularly when firing heavy weapons while standing in the palm of the aforementioned sentient tree.

(Additional Side Note: That's not mean as a backhanded compliment, it's meant as a genuine one.)

3) This crazy misfit team Cosmic Marvel take on the Dirty Dozen might end up being my favorite miniseries of the year, if the humor and plot of the first issue is any indication.

(Son of Additional Side Note: Between Annihilation:Conquest and World War Hulk, Marvel is running two events simultaneously that I'm really liking. We are through the looking glass here, people. Up is down, black is white.)

I guess what I'm saying is, once more, Keith Giffen is just friggin' awesome. Like you didn't already know that.

Annihilation:Conquest is shaping up nicely even at this stage, and if you're a fan of cosmic action or war comics, or comics that are, um, real good, you should at least go back and get the Annihilation:Conquest Prologue one-shot, because it's two shots of 120-proof bitchin'.

A Lying Sack

2007-08-07T07:38:00.000-07:00

Hi all --- I know the plan was to get started again blogging in earnest yesterday, but the Arizona Department of Safety had other ideas, and the less said about that the better.

(No, I'm not in trouble or arrested or anything like that.)

Anyway, whilst I gather my thoughts, here's something to tide you over --- if you love (or even occasionally like) maps, here's a blog entirely dedicated to strange, unique, and interesting maps, fictional and otherwise. Oddly enough, it's called "Strange Maps". Enjoy!

P.S. World War Hulk? Makes me feel ten years old again, and that's a good thing.

Whiskey Tango Fridays

2007-08-03T09:01:00.001-07:00

For all your general WTF-ery needs:

I did so not need to see this first thing this morning.

Back better than ever on Monday!

Tidbits on the 8/1 Books

2007-08-02T13:07:00.000-07:00

Greetings Greetings Greetings

I got books. I got mostly good books. I got some great books. But I am sad that this week contains no Annihilation:Conquest chapters. Those are DAMN FINE BOOKS!!

Jonah Hex: Taking a cue from "The Prestige", Jonah meets Thomas Edison on some hunt for stolen "technology". A nice read. Nice that some of these books can come up with not a lot of violence and some fun dialogue. I liked it.

Supergirl: Tying into Amazons Attack, tis the only reason I bought it. It was...alright. At least she didn't look like a slutty dressed teen. They actually gave her some....body I guess you'd call it?

Fantastic Four: I like McDuffie's writing, especially his brief stint on the outgoing Firestorm. I enjoyed this one too. Good inner-team working. I hope Sue gets to beat some ass!

Spiderman/Red Sonja: Come on, you KNOW I had to buy this one!! It was slow. It wasn't bad. It was just slow. It should pick up in the next chapter, so I"ll at least buy the next one. Kinda a crazy scheme to make this work, but hey, its a comic, right?

Welcome to Tranquility: I think I'm going to be short-timing this book. Its appeal to me has worn down, the stories just aren't grabbing me. The last book was just not good, and this one is even picking up on the zombie craze. Sigh. C'mon Gail, I know you have more in ya than this.

Warbird: Man, MachineMan is a prick, isn't he? I"m just going to give this one an ok. But PuppetMaster? Oh come on! The AIM storyline was better than this. At least I get me some MachineMan I guess.

World War Hulk: I eat my words from much earlier on in a post where "I asked the point of World War Hulk?" Hulk Smash, Hulk Smash Good, and its just excellent. This is a damn fine "event", and glad to see its doing well. But Sentry? COME ON, he's a big wuss. Give me THOR any day, even though I know that's just not going to happen. However, go Doc Strange! OOOO, that musta hurt? So sorry Doc Strange.

Thor: I am totally impressed by this book! I"m loving it. I had doubts about JMS. I had doubts about chainmail. Still don't care about the chainmail, but I am enjoying this writing, I am enjoying this art and am damn glad that Thor is back. I love the slow pacing of bringing him back (although I sure as hell wouldn't yell about Thor kicking Hulk's ass either!!) and starting with just Thor, now Asgard, and soon his friends. Can I dip into the treasury too?

No Grimms' Fairy Tales for me this week. I think it missed the boat or something. Maybe next week.

Bye for now
Randy

Scarlet Traces: The Great Game

2007-07-25T12:08:00.000-07:00

A while back, I found myself having some extra comics dollars, and asked for reader opinion on an series that interested me --- Ian Edgerington and D'Israeli's Scarlet Traces: The Great Game.

Well, last week I picked up the hardcover edition (very nicely produced, and cheap at $14.99).

If I had to pick one word to describe it, it would be "charming".

Set in an alternate England where the War of the Worlds is 40 years old and the English have taken the fight to Mars, it details the efforts of a brash female journalist to uncover a government conspiracy involving the Martians, and it reads like a pulpy potboiler straight out of Analog or somesuch.

The characters are likeable, the story moves quickly, and if D'Israeli's art is occasionally hard to follow in the action sequences, the overall tone and feel more than makes up for it.

It's a little bit V for Vendetta, a little bit H.G. Wells, and a little bit Tom Swift, and with very nice production values (good quality paper, if a little skimpy on the extras), it's a great deal for fifteen bucks. Well done, and I'll be seeking out its predecessor, Scarlet Traces, this week.

Frobozz Software Strikes Again

2007-07-24T09:30:00.000-07:00

Another apology post, but my employers at Frobozz Software have decided that I didn't have enough work to do, so I'm doing it.

On the upside, I did read and enjoy World War Hulk, Birds of Prey (the second splash page gimmick had me laughing for 10 minutes), Thor, and Annihilation: Conquest Prologue. Oh, and X-Factor? Perfect. It's my favorite book on the stands right now.

Also picked up the hardcover Scarlet Traces: The Great Game, which I'll have an in-depth review of tomorrow morning.

Back to the salt mines, and all those confusing "1"s and "0"s.

Oh, For The Love Of...

2007-07-18T10:41:00.000-07:00

Hey, DC? Stop it. Just stop it, already.

Comics Legend Unaware Of Actual Year

2007-07-16T16:25:00.000-07:00

From the interview with Stan Lee at Superherohype.com in re: the second season of Who Wants To Be A Superhero?:

Q: Is there something you have yet to achieve in your long and prosperous career that you would like to do in the near future?

Lee: I haven't starred in a movie yet. I haven't been threatening Sean Connery's career in any way.

And with that, Stan Lee joins the list of things that haven't been threatening Sean Connery's career, a list which includes:

the government
the eagerly-awaited script for The Rock 2: Alcatraz Mambo
the villain's role in the next James Bond movie
critical acclaim for any movie made after 1987

Lee was reportedly disturbed to find out that Connery hadn't been offered a spot on one of those crappy VH-1 retrospectives, saying, "It's a crime. How can you claim to be a barometer of popularity when such luminaries as Connery, Doris Day, Phyllis Diller, and James Brolin aren't even a part of the event?"

Thor Hath Returneth

2007-07-13T10:51:00.000-07:00

And I could not be happier.
MIA for over two years, it would appear that the Marvel U is long overdue for Mr. God of Thunder.
So, what did I think of the "relaunch" of Thor?

I tell ya what- I rather enjoyed it.
Was it slow? Sure. But I put up with the JLA for six issues, and I am still perusing tortoise-moving Moon Knight.
I was very pleased to see Don Blake. That is a great match. I was pleased to not see someone else "pairing" with Thor.

I also enjoyed the concepts discussed between Thor and Donald Blake. The whole "you are only dead if no one still believes in you" is sensible, and gives some credence for a Thor return.The lambs need tending. And yes, that is regular ol' citizens + the Marvel U heroes. Or are they all Skrulls now? (DUMB DUMB DUMB!!!!!!!!!)

Some may say that the issue was a bit melodramatic. I disagree. The discussion was needed, as Thor seems content to be whittling away his time in the Void. He doesn't need reasons to come back, he needs a purpose to come back.
He has that purpose.

As for the art, Coipel does a fantastic job. I'll say I'm not used to his art, but I love the ruggedness in which Thor is drawn, and damn does he have a great touch on "everyday" people. The hotel clerk is perfect!

The "armor"-- well, it may take some getting used to. Then again, when Thor wasn't in his full battle gear, girded for war, he never really looked...well...godlike? When Thor was sporting his full beard, really decked out in metal, he looked like a truly formidable opponent. The chain mail is just kinda...um...weak? But once again, I"ll give it a chance.

Will I miss the Old English speak? Probably, as it doesn't seem Thorish without it, but I'm going to be fine with it. I can overcome!

I do think this is going to really pick up steam fast, unlike some of JMS's other works. (Spiderman anyone?) Thor is needed. He's going to hopefully get into the fray quickly.
I look forward to at least some of his cast of characters coming back. Sif and Baldur to name a couple. His "response" to Cap's death. And I think its going to take Thor to end the WWH saga. At least I hope it does, and that will mark a triumphant return, in saving the lambs and making people "believe" in him again.

Lets just avoid that whole "Asgard on Earth" thingy again. (Oops, I peeked at the #2 preview. Hrm....)

I added this to my pull list. I think JMS "got it". Coipel sure does.

3 Questions About Superman I Probably Should Know The Answers To But I Don't

2007-07-11T07:30:00.001-07:00

And yes, I could probably get answers to these by actually picking up a recent damn Superman comic, but that's not something I'm prepared to do just yet.

1) So, I get the whole super strength/invulnerability/freeze breath thing being due to the difference in Earth/the Sun and Krypton/Krypton's Sun, but what's the official junk science explanation for why he can fly?

2) Does his cape serve some sort of functional purpose, or does he rock the Red Riding Hood fo' da ladeez?

3) Is there a SuperKid yet? Somewhere? In one of the Multiverse thingys? Bueller? Bueller?

Happy Birthday, U.S.A.!

2007-07-04T08:11:00.000-07:00

Hey, you don't look a day over 230 years old! Hope you like the gift card to Target I picked up at the last minute!

So, instead of looking for some 4th of July-themed cover, I figured I'd take this opportunity to share with you one of my absolute all-time favorite comic covers, one that I found some months ago and fell in love with (and immediately had someone Photoshop the hell out of, so I could make fun of my boss... long story).

Without further ado, the 34,577th piece of evidence for the "Comic book covers were 95 times cooler back in the day" theory (click for larger view):

Jorge Luis Garcia-Lopez? That is one sweeeeeeeeeeet cover, man.

Lighting the Bat-Family on fire and making them human candles tied to a birthday cake that the Joker made for himself and had his own face put on in an act of homicidal hubris?

Genius.

Oh, and, er, happy birthday, America!

1 Guy's 8 Facts

2007-07-03T00:00:00.000-07:00

Right, so having been tagged by both Calvin and Jake, I'm finally getting around to this here meme. Those of you looking for something comics-related should probably come back Wednesday, when I post one of the single best comic covers ever (and yes, you've probably seen it already, but dammit it's awesome).

Anyhoo, the rules:

- Each player starts with eight random facts/habits about themselves.
- People who are tagged need to write their own blog about their eight things and post these rules.
- At the end of the post, I'm supposed to choose eight people to get tagged and list their names.

On with the sharing!

1) I have cried during exactly two movies. The first was during Saving Private Ryan, when the old man at the cemetary asks his wife to "Tell me I've lived a good life." The other? I shit you not, Savannah Smiles. The scene where Bootsie and Alvie are taken away by the Feds and Savannah begs them not to leave? Niagara Falls, baby. I am not ashamed by this.

2) I won the National Forensic League's national championship in Impromptu Speaking in 1994.
Go here, download the PDF, scan to page 24 and look for Chris Walker (which was my name back then). Yup, that's pretty much the last time I did anything notable.

(And no, the National Forensic League isn't some bizarre circus with events like Fingerprinting and Bobbing For Carpet Fibers and Pin The Tail On The Dead Hooker... although now that I think about it, there should probably be something like that somewhere.)

3) After counting just now, I have finished exactly 44 stories, 1 play and 1 comic miniseries that have yet to be published anywhere.

4) Just in case you didn't think I was dorky enough yet, I'm almost done writing my first piece of interactive fiction.

5) I once went completely batshit insane, got engaged for all the wrong reasons, left my fiance three months before the wedding, sold my PlayStation for $48, bought a one-way bus ticket to L.A., and tried to kill myself because I preferred death to breaking up with her. No, I'm not particularly proud of this.

(On second thought, we'll make that one count for numbers 5 and 6).

7) I have memorized the complete dialogue, musical cues, and sound effects from the movie Clue.

8) I saw Mike Scott pitch a no-hitter against the Giants in the Astrodome.

Since I'm late on this, I ain't tagging anyone --- but feel free to participate!

Random Monday Notes

2007-07-02T07:05:00.000-07:00

Happy Monday, everyone! Thanks for the kind thoughts about my kid last week --- happy to report that all is back to normal(ish). Oh, and there's a "spoiler" in here, but A) it's worthless and B) you've probably already seen it anyway.

A few quick notes I got after trolling Newsarama for today, then tomorrow you get 8 facts because no meme goes unpunished around here.

1) My goodness, but Bill Rosemann's edition of "New Joe Fridays" last week at the 'Rama was entertaining. Maybe it's just the fact that I know it's not Quesada talking, but Rosemann seemed engaged, funny, goofy, and informational all at once... you know, pretty much the opposite of what Quesada's been like. Of course, he's fresh at this, and Joey Q's been doing it for a year and a half, so I suppose it was bound to feel different. And it certainly doesn't hurt that Rosemann's editing some of the Marvel titles I look forward to most, so there's that.

2) Yeah, so the big spoiler for Fallen Son: Iron Man this week? There's ... DUN -DUN -DUNNNN! A funeral! For Captain America! You know, the dead guy! I cannot for the life of me figure out why the AP/Marvel are making a big deal out of this, because as far as I know dead people get funerals pretty regularly around here (except in Georgia).

3) Giant-Size Marvel Adventures: Avengers, by Jeff Parker, featuring the Avengers teaming up with the Agents of Atlas. This completely slipped under my radar somehow. I cannot recommend this enough, and Newsarama's got the preview.

4) No, I didn't read Sinestro Corps #1. Can I be honest with y'all? I'm getting... how do you say... a little burned out on all things Oan. Look, I love the concept of the Space Cops With Alien Jewelry, but they're goddamn everywhere these days in DC, and I just... I need a break, okay? A small one. (And yes, I'll still keep buying Green Lantern Corps, because that's a good comic.)

Tomorrow: 8 facts you would have been just fine not knowing about me.

Good Night, Now!

2007-06-27T09:43:00.001-07:00

This explains why I'm not posting today. Till tomorrow, then.

Catching Up: DC Edition

2007-06-26T13:08:00.000-07:00

Alright kids, let's figure out what the hell's been going on over in the DC books I buy, shall we? Massive Spoilers Ahoy!

DETECTIVE COMICS #832/833 --- Well, I didn't think much of the Royal McGraw Terrible Trio story, but it stuck to the basics (detecting, done-in-one, decent art) and it's biggest crime is that it's just kind of boring.

Especially when you compare it to Paul Dini's #833, the first of a two-parter with Batman and Zatanna and a genuinely shocking, lovely end-issue reveal of a certain homicidal clown (who Dini seems to understand better than anyone else has in the last five years). As long as Dini's on board, Detective remains squarely at the top of my DC reading list every month. CBG: 3/5.

(Side Note: I'm pretty certain at this point that I would pay a lot of money for a monthly Batman/Zatanna series written by Dini. They could call it Magic Knights or somesuch. This needs to happen.)

JONAH HEX #19-20 --- Kind of a dry spell here, as these two issues are some of the least memorable of the series; again there's nothing actively offensive, it's just kind of bland, and the art is in one of those fallow periods as well.

I do award bonus points for a completely ludicrous yet satisying sequence where Hex bites the head off a buzzard to use the beak to cut through ropes. You just don't get that sort of thing in, say, Green Lantern. (Though we really probably should, and Geoff Johns is probably working on it as we speak.) I also enjoyed the line "I've already got a headache, I don't need another one in Mexican." CBG: 2/5.

BIRDS OF PREY #105/106/107 --- Secret Six + Birds of Prey + Gail Simone = Comics I Need More Of. At this point, it's everything you would expect; lots of action, chock full of one-liners that are in character (which is an underrated talent these days --- anybody can throw out a cool line, but to have it jibe with the character requires, you know, skill), and a very nice present at the end in the form of a certain Norse princess with an affinity for low temperatures.

The main plot is a throwaway, but that's OK since this is really an excuse for Simone to get a bunch of characters she loves together for a good old-fashioned throwdown, and there certainly isn't anything wrong with that. CBG: 4/5.

CHECKMATE #13/14/15 --- OK, I'm kind of behind the curve here, because this is the Outsiders crossover, and I just couldn't bring myself to buy two issues of Outsiders, because if ever there was a cast I didn't give a damn about, it's the Outsiders. Regardless, not having read 52 I was a bit confused about the objective --- but that didn't matter once I got to Egg Fu, who is one grotesque sumbitch. Enjoyable, frequently shocking, and I think this remains a consistently underrated title. CBG: 3/5.

ALL-NEW ATOM ##11/12 --- The whole zombie ghost plotline wraps up, and the fact that I was glad that it wrapped up isn't a good thing. It's not that it was bad per se, but it just got a bit too confusing and ultimately depressing. That's OK --- I don't mind stories with a downbeat ending, but it'll be good to see Ryan Choi back in a more superheroic mode.

Speaking of which, there's a fanTAStic conceit in #12 where the Ivy Town newspaper is reprinted every few pages or so, and it's delightfully self-aware (you'll see what I mean). Plus, we get the Search for Ray Palmer, and the identity of the anagram-loving cabbie that's popped up so frequently revealed on the last page (and it's delicious). Good stuff, ready for the next arc. CBG: 2/5.

BONUS UNRELATED MARVEL NOTE: In yesterday's World War Hulk review, I mentioned that I thought the art was "just OK". Randy reminded me that I positively gushed about JRJR's depiction of She-Hulk, which was in fact all kinds of awesome. Noted.

Catching Up: Marvel Edition

2007-06-25T12:35:00.000-07:00

Well, I cleared the backlog of comics waiting for me at the LCS, and boy howdy: the comics, she do take a bite! Over a hundred bucks worth of stuff (I told you it had been awhile), and surprisingly, most of it was not awful.

Instead of reviewing individual issues, I'll give you capsule run-downs on what I read, because otherwise we'll be here forever, and as The Purple One once preached, "that's a mighty long time". Marvel today, DC tomorrow, odds and ends Wednesday, kay? Kay. Massive Spoilers Ahoy!

(Man, it feels good to say that again. Even though the spoilers in question might be a month old.)

CAPTAIN AMERICA #26/27 --- Well, I must say that the whole "Bucky wants to kill Tony Stark" plot is something I'm down with, mainly for cathartic reasons, and I didn't even mind the whole Black Widow/Bucky bow-chicka-bow-bow retcon. Some odd moments, though, like the New Avengers "wake" and the Falcon's conversation with Sharon Carter that just felt... off, somehow, like they needed more space to breathe or something. And we got the obligatory "Sharon Thinks About Cashing It In" scene, so at least that's out of the way.

(Side Note: Speaking of breathing, Sharon Carter's shoulders have plenty of breathing space thanks to her Casual Spywear she just happened to have lying around. Is she designing her own line? Casual Spywear by Carter --- For The Former S.H.I.E.L.D. Agent Who Doesn't Want Covered Shoulders! Coming soon to a Wal-Mart near you!)

But hey, we get Arnim Zola, the Red Skull, and Faustus together with DoomTech™ in an alliance that has "short-term" written all over it, and there's very little wrong with that. CBG: 3/5.

X-FACTOR #18/19 --- OK, the X-Cell "storyline" continues --- sorta --- here, but really it's all setup for the Messiah Complex event, and you know what? Peter David has me considering buying an X-Event. Mainly because:

A) it's nice to see a Marvel writer who actually, you know, went back and read about what happened to Quicksilver after House of M and bothered to use it instead of ignore it, and

B) I have a strange feeling that Messiah Complex is where we'll find out the real reason behind Jamie's Haywire Duplicates.

A lovely clockwork setpiece from Layla Miller (who we find out gets rattled when flies show up in the ointment), the Blob shows up and is appropriately disgusting, and the pieces are being moved into place. The only thing I didn't like is the art from Khoi Phan; this is a book built on dialogue, and you need someone who can nail facial expressions for that --- Phan isn't doing that for me. Pablo Raimondi to the White Courtesy Phone please! CBG: 4/5.

IRON MAN: HYPERVELOCITY #5-6 --- Did the Sopranos-style ending ruin the rest of the series? Hell, no. This was one for the technogeeks, and if even half of the ideas in here find their way into the Marvel Universe, it'll be a better place. Failed personality uploads gone rogue and banding together in robot suits? Fantastic. The U.S.S. Samuel Sawyer? Terrific. Tonyghost's personality chess match between him and Absynthe? Delightfully tense.

None of it makes any sense if you slow down to stop and think about it, but I'm not sure "slowing down" is on the agenda for a series called "Hypervelocity". Things get confusing from a panel-and-art perspective in the last issue, but after all's said and done this was a nice slice of non-continuity Iron Man with some neat ideas. CBG: 4/5, but I tend to skew high on these sorts of things these days.

MOON KNIGHT #9/10/11 --- Well, this has gone right off the rails, hasn't it? Decent idea behind the villain (though it only really matters if you've read the old Moon Knight series), but terrible execution. Issue #11 in particular was entirely incomprehensible from an art/narration perspective, and quite frankly even I'm getting a little tired of the whole swearing/graphic violence thing --- mainly because the plot isn't going anywhere.

Between the odd censoring ("shit" is "####" but they print "prick"?) and the fact that no one can agree on what Marc Spector's face is supposed to look like from panel to panel, I may be done with this, and frankly I'm a little embarrassed that I hung on this long. And why isn't this a MAX title, again? CBG: 1/5.

IRON MAN #17/18/19 --- I'm of two minds here, because between #17 and #18 I enjoy the way that they're bringing back the Ten ~~Rings~~ Back Piercings Of The Mandarin and Mandy himself, even if I think that the new(ish) supporting characters may be ruined just when they were starting to get interesting, and nobody seems to care that Happy Hogan's dead.

#19, though, was a complete waste, as it's essentially a reprint of the latter half of World War Hulk #1, complete with the same dialogue and everything, and that's just wrong. Nice to see the Hulkbuster armor, but I don't like the fact that the Mandarin story gets put on hold for WWH. CBG: 3/5 for the first two issues, 1/5 for the last.

WORLD WAR HULK #1 --- Regardless, I enjoyed this despite the fact that most of it was spoiled because I read Iron Man #19 first. Not much to say about it --- Hulk kicks the crap out of Black Bolt and comes to New York demanding the members of the ~~Illuminati~~ Hulk Rocketry Society show their faces before he levels the planet. Nothing overly offensive, and I thought the art was just OK, and it certainly accomplishes the first-ish mish, which of course is to set up the series. CBG: 3/5.

MARVEL COMICS I FORGOT TO PICK UP: Avengers Classic, Marvel Adventures Iron Man, Marvel Adventures Avengers, and I'll be getting those this week.

Till tomorrow!

No-Post Friday!

2007-06-22T08:09:00.000-07:00

Three quick items before I leave on an early weekend getaway:

1) So far, A Bad Move has done exactly what I hoped it would do, and thanks for the great response so far. Not many blogs would survive a first week filled with pirates, Michael Caine, Weird Al Yankovic, and Dire Straits. I'm sorta proud that I did.

2) Samuel L. Jackson (the "L" is for "loud") will be playing Nick Fury in the Iron Man movie. Haven't had time to sort out my feelings about that yet.

3) The new season of Who Wants To Be A Superhero? starts July 26th. They'll be hard pressed to find someone as goofily charming as Major Victory, but I'll be tuning in nonetheless.

I Have No Explanation For This

2007-06-21T10:24:00.000-07:00

I will be the first one to admit I absolutely do not understand the "lolcat" phenomenon. If marginally cute pictures of kittens overlaid with badly spelled Internet shorthand is the future of "hipness", then schedule me for hip replacement surgery.

(Ye Gods, that joke was bad. Apologies.)

That said, I cannot explain what compelled me to make the image below, using a handily pirated picture and MS-Paint. More apologies if this has been done before.

2GBC: All Frank Miller, All The Time!

2007-06-20T11:32:00.000-07:00

I am, of course, kidding, but I saw this from the kids over at Blog@Newsarama today and had to say something.

Frank Miller to Direct Raymond Chandler's Trouble Is My Business

A few facts:

1) OK, this may or may not come as a surprise to any of you, but Raymond Chandler happens to be my favorite author of all time.

2) Trouble Is My Business is a longish short story featuring detective Philip Marlowe, and would actually make a pretty decent movie I think.

3) I've been waiting for a good new Marlowe adaption for a long friggin' time now. The last quality one was Powers Boothe in the HBO series a long time ago.

4) Clive Owen has been signed to play Philip Marlowe, something I've been hoping for ever since I saw him in Privateer 2: The Darkening. I'm not even kidding about that.

(Side Note: Is there a website that captures actors' shitty performances from full-motion video games from back in the 90s? If not, there oughta be. I've got some games that, let's just say, Christopher Walken and Paul Giamatti would probably rather I didn't keep.)

I guess what I'm trying to say is:

FRANK MILLER DO NOT FUCK THIS UP.

Off-Topic: Opening Day

2007-06-19T20:29:00.001-07:00

Howdy!

OK, my new blog is up. It's just as badly titled as All-Flash #1, but at least it doesn't have crappy cover art.

It's my non-comics thoughts, reviews, etc. Expect lots of pop culture, medium amounts of real life, a little bit of everything else, and gigantic assloads of snark.

You're welcome, and I'm sorry.

http://abadmove.blogspot.com/

(Yes, it's called A Bad Move. No, I didn't lose a bet or anything. I told you it was badly titled.)

Better Know A Hero: Black Widow

2007-06-19T10:21:00.000-07:00

2 Guys Buying Comics has been apprised of the fact that a good portion of our visitors are just getting back into comics. We now present the sixth installation of our "weekly" feature, Better Know A Hero.

Name: Black Widow

Also Known As: Tasha, Widow, Red

Alter Ego: Natasha Romanova, though this is another character where it's not so much a secret identity as a name. Also, she's surprisingly forthright about being, you know, a spy. Especially since Marvel can't really play up the whole Cold War thing anymore.

Origin: Well, it's pretty simple compared to most other heroes. She's basically an orphan (which comes as a surprise to no one) whose parents were killed in a fire when she was young. From there, a dude named Ivan Petrovich raised her, and she found her way into the Soviet spy program where she was trained to be, er, a spy.

(Side Note: Yes, I'm aware that they retconned her origin a while back to make her basically a Russian female version of Wolverine, complete with implanted memories and all that. For obvious reasons, we're ignoring that and sticking with the garden-variety "hot Russian superspy" story, because really --- if it ain't broke, don't fix it.)

(Additional Side Note: I'm also aware that Marvel tried to sorta reboot the Widow role with the blonde Yelena Belova. Seeing as how the New Avengers melted her face off early on and she became a Super-Adaptoid, but then HYDRA blew her up, we're ignoring her too. It's for the best.)

(Son of Side Note: If you're keeping count at home, Black Widow is roughly the 43,557th superhero character whose origin includes the loss of parents at an early age.)

Powers: None per se, thought she's wicked good at acrobatics, combat, marksmanship, and has those delicious little "Widow's Bite" bracelets she wears that can really ruin your day by blasting 30,000 volts worth of energy holes in your face.

How's The Costume?: I must say, if you're going to be a hot Russian superspy (Hi, Googlers!) called the Black Widow, a black leather catsuit is probably exactly the right costume for me you. It should be pointed out, though, that in her initial appearances she didn't really have a costume, it was more of a "Rich Civilian Evening Wear" get-up. Because she was, um, a spy, and trying to hook up with Tony Stark.

Home Cookin': One of the Marvel characters who has a really good reason to not be stuck in New York, she's now typically depicted in... New York. Stupid Marvel.

Chillin' At The Crib: Early on, she actually lived in San Francisco with Petrovich, where she had a lovely house with a garden and everything. During a lot of the 80s you could find her at a variety of safehouses around the world, or in Avengers Mansion, or in L.A. when she was gettin' her Champions on.

Can She Fight?: Yeah, but be careful. She's not all about the direct confrontation, Black Widow typically relies more on sneak attacks, sniper rifles, and the occasional martial arts throwdown rather than throwing skyscrapers at Galactus. She works best as a complementary team member, not your first draft pick if, say, Dormammu shows up in a bad mood.

Allies: Most of the Marvel Universe seems to agree that it's better to have her on your side than against you. She's been an Avenger, a West Coast Avenger, and is now a Mighty Avenger, though I have a feeling she'll probably leave the "Mighty" part off her resume when all is said and done. Also back in the day had a relationship with Hawkeye which was highly entertaining.

(Side Note: which is, of course, why in the Ultimate Universe Marvel thought it would be a good idea for Ultimate Hawkeye to shoot a crippled, traitorous, nasty Ultimate Black Widow through her Ultimate Neck with an Ultimate Arrow. Good times!)

She moved to L.A. and was a member of the Champions as well, and was romantically involved with Hercules, about which the less said the better.

Also shared a relationship (and more -- bow-chicka-bow-bow!) with Daredevil for a long time, and still carries a quasi-torch for DD if recent Daredevil comics are to be believed. In fact, in Essential Avengers Vol. 5, there's a DD/Widow reprint that shows Hawkeye and Daredevil dropping in on Tasha at the same time -- wacky Three's Company-like hijinks ensue!

Enemies: Before she turned the corner for good, she was dedicated to undermining the corrupt capitalist pig-dogs of the U.S. like Tony Stark. Nowadays she fights whoever she's given orders to by, um, Tony Stark. Huh.

Symbol: The obvious choice in this case, the trademark red hourglass is also the right choice. Extra props for (usually) having the symbol elegantly understated on the belt buckle rather than splashed gaudily across the uniform, although in many depictions the symbol doesn't appear anywhere at all. (Ignore my crappy photoshoppery here.)

Family Matters: None to speak of in the origin that matters, although I seem to recall that she may have a child flitting about somewhere.

Might Be Cool To: Go clubbin' with. Infiltrate enemy organizations. Introduce her to the girl that broke your heart in high school with the phrase, "Yeah, I traded up."

Under No Circumstances: Suggest having Daredevil, Hercules, and Hawkeye over for an evening of drinks and Monopoly. Or Jenga.

Annual Performance Review: Well, she was pro-registration, though we never once even saw a glimpse of what might be her motivation for joining Iron Man's side --- in fact, you could make the case that having defected from the rigid, tightly controlled oppressive Soviet Union she'd be dedicated to preventing such a thing from happening here, and it might have even made a compelling story to see her wrestle with that idea versus her patriotism towards her adopted country and friends, but that's why I'm not writing Marvel comics, I guess. Anyway, she's a Mighty Avenger now.
What Makes Her So Special, Anyway?: While early on Tasha would swoon over any dude in a costume, in the 80s she developed a take-no-prisoners, tough-as-nails personality which I quite liked. Her loyalties have been divided in the past, and there are hints that at any moment something from her past could come back to bite her.

She's also a perfect Avenger --- not overpowered, just a person with some special skills that works well as a team member.

Plus, let's face it: hot redheaded leather-clad Russian superspies are undeniably cool, and comics need at least one of them in every universe.

Frank Miller to Martha Washington: Drop Dead!

2007-06-18T13:12:00.000-07:00

Why, yes, against my better judgment, I will be buying this.

In other "news" from the dual cons held over the weekend:

1) Apparently enough people are reading Ghost Rider that there was a dedicated Ghost Rider panel at Heroes Con. This amazes me on several levels. Can't wait for the Machine Man panel at San Diego!

2) Dwayne McDuffie's gonna be taking over for Meltzer on JLA; no problems there, but more awesome was DC editor Mike Carlin's remark in re: the perennially late All-Star line:

"During the Q&A that followed, one fan asked if the "All-Star Batgirl" series by series by Geoff Johns would ever come out. "Why should 'All-Star Batgirl' come out?" Carlin joked. "None of the rest of them do."

3) In the Who-Asked-For-This? Dept., Bendis is writing a miniseries called Ultimate Origin that... sigh... explains the origin of the Ultimate Universe. Memo to Marvel: I was just fine with "it's an alternate universe".

4) I Call Bullshit:

Q: "Was Captain America's death decided as Civil War was conceived?"
Quesada: "That was well in the works from the very beginning at Civil War."

Nope, not buying it. Unless by "well in the works" you mean "we made Brubaker accelerate his planned story arcs to tie in with a stupid Millar miniseries".

5) Mark Waid's coming back to the Flash, in the spectacularly horridly-titled All-Flash #1, after which the Flash series reverts back to prior numbering, putting it pretty much at the top of the Failed Relaunches Post-Superboy Punch list for DC.

(Yes, even ahead of Wonder Woman; the problem wasn't that it was terrible --- though it wasn't good --- it was that it was so late. Flash: The Fastest Man Alive was, in fact, terrible --- at least for the first three issues, after which I stopped buying it.)

6) Check for a special announcement later today.

Marvel To Frank Miller: Drop Dead!

2007-06-15T14:48:00.000-07:00

Oh, hell no.

The Changes, They Are A-Comin'

2007-06-14T11:58:00.000-07:00

In what has rapidly deteriorated into a weekly blog, I'm now posting five items today:

1) I'm, like, a month behind on my comics. That gets remedied tomorrow. It better have been worth the wait, though I suspect it hasn't.

2) Andy Schmidt is leaving Marvel, which kind of sucks, because A) thinking about the books I read that were edited by him, I can't recall having any continuity gripes about, and B) dammit, the comics world needs more people named "Andy". (And while we're at it, less people named "Joe Quesada".)

3) I've taken the opinions to heart, and am launching my other non-comics blog next week, which I will of course pimp right here. I'm spending the weekend writing a good chunk of posts for both in an effort to alleviate the large spaces of time between posts on either.

4) Mr. Wizard died, which really, truly, sucks. I watched his Nickelodeon show religiously when I was a kid, and distinctly remember the episode where he taught a kid how to use one of them new-fangled "word processors". The most amazing part was when he intentionally misspelled something, and didn't have to retype it all --- he just moved the cursor back to the error and typed over it!

Don Herbert, ye shall be missed. Especially because my 3 favorite Dons --- Knotts, Ho, and Herbert --- are all now dead. (Am I the only one that keeps lists like that? Probably.)

5) Next week: the awesomest Dr. Strange issue ever, found in Essential Dr. Strange vol. 2, illustrated (natch) by Gene "The Dean" Colan. It'll be awesome, especially if I can get the damn scanner to work.

The Interwebs Are Kewl

2007-06-07T10:38:00.000-07:00

Our four regular readers have noticed that there's been yet again another unannounced lack of updates, for which I am sorry. I can only offer up in my defense that:

A) Real-life demands more attention than Comicsblogoweb-life sometimes, and

B) For the past month or so comics? Have been the opposite of compelling. I mean, they're not horrible, but there's nothing especially good or bad, either, and that doesn't exactly fire up the ol' creative juices.

Other than that, some random items:

1) The Pop-Culture-Palooza went considerably less well than expected. After carrying the day with categories such as "Rap Music" and "Adam West's Batman", our team took some hits with "Mel Brooks Movies" and "Fighting Video Games". On the plus side, I got to meet Greg Burgas from Comics Should Be Good and Delenda Est Carthago, and I'm delighted to report that he's every bit as personable and loudly dressed as you'd expect from his writing.

2) Fun Site I'm A Latecomer To: X-Entertainment, which is a trove of pop culture-itis with a decidedly 80's geek tilt.

3) Assuming that you're interested, two other hugely popular quality non-comics blogs that I can recommend: Deadspin for the sports enthusiast and Wonkette for the politico in all of us.

4) Along those lines, I've been seriously thinking about starting a non-comics side blog to allow me to write about, er, non-comics stuff.

On the one hand, it may come as no surprise to y'all that I do in fact have a bunch of opinions about other things that would seem out of place here; on the other hand, I can barely keep the pumps running around here lately.

Any thoughts as to what I should do? The benefits of keeping said off-topic thoughts here, of course, is that I have a built-in audience of our four regular readers. What say you, comicsblogoweb?

Meep!

2007-06-01T12:37:00.000-07:00

Maybe old news, and it's videos of more Iron Man movie stuff (hey, it's my blog and I have a fixation. Get over it), but worth watching for:

A) Robert Downey Jr.'s awkward interview with possibly the worst celebrity interviewer gainfully employed by a network I've ever seen

B) Favreau saving the day with the Iron Man helmet and wit

C) Action shots of Stark and Rhodey in a firefight that takes place (I'm guessing) at the beginning of the movie, leading into the origin story. (second video down).

What a way to end the week.

Bad Iron Man Design Choices, Pt. 1

2007-05-31T09:08:00.001-07:00

So, as much as I dearly love the classic Iron Man, there are some design choices that, shall we say, are better left in the past. To wit:

Why yes, Billy. Those are in fact ears on Iron Man's helmet. No, Billy. We shan't speak of this again. At least not until we get around to the ill-fated decision to have his nose on the helmet.

Oh, crap. I guess we've gotten around to it.

(Side Note: The Crimson Dynamo doesn't fare so well there, either, what with the 15-inch TV head and corrugated steel skirt.)

OK, Billy. It's time to rest now, and pretend that we revere anything in comics published before 1980.

Un-Content Posts Continue!

2007-05-29T14:50:00.000-07:00

No, I don't have comics from last week yet. I do however have two other things for you:

1) Join me at Atomic Comics' Pop Culture-Palooza this weekend, where you'll see me doing my best Mr. Furley impersonation for our team, which is Three's Company-themed. Don't ask. I should warn you, however, that my Mr. Furley impersonation is second to none. Really.

2) Homer Simpson as the Hulk, featuring Stan Lee. Enjoy.

Make Mine Movies!

2007-05-25T08:33:00.000-07:00

Interesting article in the latest Fortune magazine about Marvel's film adventures, with a little bit of history and some insight into the personalities involved. Avi Arad certainly has no love lost for Marvel Studios, and there are some interesting quotes from Stan "The Man" Lee, and some good info about new Marvel Studios head man David Maisel.

Also, yay Iron Man!

P.S. Thanks to all who helped out on the birthday thing yesterday. I went with Runaways vol. 2 (she already had vol. 1 in digests) and the Marvel Encyclopedia. Both were huge hits!

Readership Assistance Requested

2007-05-24T08:10:00.000-07:00

OK, all, here's the deal.

It's my daughter's birthday today.

She wants me to get her something comics-related.

She loves, loves, loves the DC Encyclopedia.

I'm thinking about getting her the Marvel Encyclopedia, but I haven't had time to leaf through it to see what it's about. I've heard rumors about rampant typos, omissions, and that sort of thing, but can't confirm myself.

My question: Will the Marvel Encyclopedia fit the bill? If not, what are some other suggestions? She likes things in color, and wants something sizeable, and is not opposed to reference materials, or older stuff. Hawkgirl, Zatanna, Batman, and the X-Men are referred to as "faves". The kids and their lingo these days.

Help me, comicsblogoweb. You're my only hope.

Bleeding Readers

2007-05-23T08:00:00.001-07:00

OK, I know I promised an update, but this is the last week of school for the kids and things are batshit insane, I tell you.

Not insane in the good Nextwave-kind-of-way, insane in the Joker-just-killed-a-box-of-puppies kind of way.

Back later, promise, for the six of you who are still left.

P.S. Ultimates #2 13 should have come with a cover that read "Even Mark Millar Isn't Interested In This Anymore". It's not even bad enough to be interesting, which is a bigger crime than being downright rotten.

Update!

2007-05-21T13:53:00.000-07:00

Holy crow, but did I have an awesome weekend camping in southern Arizona, or what? I'll tell you all about it, and what the hell it has to do with comics, in the next post. For now, a shower is called for.

Sacred Cow, Medium Rare Please!

2007-05-15T14:21:00.000-07:00

Right, so, about that whole Batman: Year One thing.

And yes, I realize that I'm about to critique a 20 year old comic without saying anything that hasn't been said before somewhere. Just another day in the comicsblogoweb.

A friend of mine recently saw Batman Begins, and was duly impressed by it. I mentioned that the movie used some elements of Frank Miller's Batman: Year One, and he asked to borrow it.

Being the Ambassador O' Comics that I am, I lent it to him, but decided to give it a quick reread just for old times' sake.

Yeah, that was probably a mistake.

Because Batman: Year One is deeply, deeply flawed as a comic, moreso than I remember it being when I first read it oh, about 15 years ago.

The main problem for me is, B:YO doesn't have much of a plot, per se. I mean, there's no real throughstory for our titular (Hi, Googlers!) hero, it reads like more of a series of interesting vignettes that take place over Bruce Wayne's first year as Batman.

And I guess on it's own merits that's OK --- maybe even the point --- but it's terribly unsatisfying as a story. Miller's noir dialogue is pitch-perfect (no surprises there), but it's shouting in an empty room; there's no purpose, no narrative momentum to carry these moments forward. And that, friends, does not a good comic make.

In fact, what I was most surprised at was the fact that Jim Gordon is by far the most interesting character in the series, which is odd seeing as how it isn't titled Commissioner Gordon: Year One. In fact, Gordon's the only one that actually comes off as being a "real" person, with depth of character and dramatic conflict.

In other words, Bruce summoning bats with a frequency emitter is cool --- but Gordon agonizing over betraying his pregnant wife resonates. The former makes for a great splash page; the latter makes for a great character.

And I guess that's my issue; I didn't remember Batman being this devoid of character in this series. Bruce is still largely a cipher, despite the "finding-my-way" dialogue and asides with Alfred.

Oh, and Selina and her annoying sidekick? Unnecessary and wholly irrelevant to the already paper-thin plot.

Look, there are some really bright spots to this comic. David Mazzuchelli's artwork (and the Richmond Lewis coloring specifically) does some amazing things on the page, and if it's murky in places, well it's Gotham, innit? And as I mentioned, Miller's self-doubting noir internal monologues are best-in-class (at least, they were back when this was written anyway, before Frank Miller morphed into Crazy Uncle Freddie Who Probably Shouldn't Be Left Alone With The Children Because, You Know).

But I think part of the reason I liked Batman Begins so much is because it actually bothered to string a plot to tie around all these moments that Miller gave us; structure to the narrative; and, of course, Michael Caine.

(Side Note: Michael Caine immediately ups the watchability rating of any movie he's in, even --- particularly --- the shitty ones. This is fact, and not up for debate.)

So I'll calmly and quietly (shaddup!) accept the fact that Batman: Year One isn't quite the sacred cow that a lot of people make it out to be (few comics are, really).

Still. That whole bat-summoning thing? Awesome.

New Joe Mondays 5/14 And Stuff

2007-05-14T11:29:00.000-07:00

Hey howdy, all! Three pieces of news:

1) New Joe Mondays is up over at Atomic; I must say, either someone's telling Joe to shut the hell up or Newsarama's getting smarter about the questions they're feeding him, because there hasn't been much to pick on Joe about in the columns in recent weeks. A refreshing return to form this week, though.

2) Thanks for patience during the hiatus --- a series of unfortunate events sidelined the ol' blog, but things are settling down now. Expect the usual snark and insanity.

3) Reread Batman: Year One, and it didn't go well. Expect a quasi-hatchet piece on that experience later this week, after which I'll probably be considered a leper in the blogosphere. Fun!

Where Are the Lunatics?

2007-05-08T10:02:00.000-07:00

Waiting for a full moon? Perhaps a waning moon? Maybe looking for inner peace high on the frozen tundra of Greenland?
Nay, nothing as thought provoking as those.

Chris has been having computer issues for a couple days now, and hopes to one day overcome his technical challenges to once again entertain the masses and stick it to the powers that be.

Randy has been lost in a morass of work, personal issues and, he wishes, inner peace on the frozen tundra of Greenland, or at least a soothing hot steam in Iceland.

So, ergo, short hiatus, to return very soon, hopefully in the next couple of days.
Remember, reading is good. TV is bad. And um, don't stick your fingers in power sockets.

Randy

I Just May Explode With Joy

2007-05-03T00:31:00.000-07:00

Here's the red and gold armor forthcoming in the Iron Man movie:

It's a perfect blend of three things:

1) Old school --- The circular uni-beam on the chest, the hip-pods, and the repulsor rays in the hands.

2) New school --- the facemask, the shoulder pads, and the actuators.

3) Designed for live-action --- the thing looks like a SUIT, for God's sake, that someone could actually wear and be convincing in on the screen.

I've said it before, I'll say it again: this whole "favorite hero being brought to the big screen" thing is going FAR better than I ever, ever thought it would.

This is either the culmination of 20 years of prayer finally paying off, or an elaborate practical joke that can only end in the senseless destruction that fanboys can inflict when truly disappointed.

But man. Squee x 10.

Excused Absence

2007-05-02T08:50:00.000-07:00

Hey all, just a quick note letting you know that Mrs. 2GBC's father passed away earlier this week, which is why there haven't been any updates recently. We'll be back on Monday for reals this time, barring any random insanity from Randy.

Keith Giffen Would Like To Say A Few Things

2007-04-25T09:57:00.000-07:00

...52 of them, specifically. You can read the whole 52-item diatribe over at Wizard's web site (I know, I know).

SEE! The barely-concealed disdain for Greg Rucka!

THRILL! To the self-deprecating insights about making Montoya the Answer!

GASP! At the revelations that Giffen dosn't particularly like Steel or Lobo (or Greg Rucka)!

SMILE! At the thin veneer of courtesy with which Giffen covers his shots at Mark Waid, DC trade policies, and 52 art decisions with!

Seriously, it's fascinating stuff. I like Giffen myself, and it's refreshing to see someone who's still putting out quality work make a relatively candid list of things that he likes and dislikes about a recent mega-project.

Cranky old man, or just 52-related burnout? Dick, get on the case!

New Joe Mondays 4/23

2007-04-24T12:10:00.000-07:00

OK, everyone, New Joe Mondays is up at Atomic, and you can read the whole thing here:

New Joe Mondays 4/23

Also, things are a bit crazy this week, so you probably won't hear from me again till next Monday. Unless something mind-boggingly stupid happens in the world of comics... um... yeah, never mind. Until then!

Two Thoughts

2007-04-20T14:10:00.000-07:00

Friday fun! And sorry, no reviews, check back Monday.

Meantime, two things:

1) Actual Depressing Conversation:

ME: Man, I'm starting to think someone could make a really good movie out of this new run of X-Factor.

KILLJOY: Yeah, but you just know they'd cast Dane Cook as Madrox.

ME: ...

ME: ...

ME: Let's not speak of this again.

2) Check the following upcoming Marvel cover image:

My three immediate reactions:

A) Oh please oh please oh please oh please let the Hulk turn the Sentry into a human exclamation point.

B) Is that sad drunk lady intended to represent a comics fan or a Marvel editor?

C) Oh, so that's how the Superhero Registration Act makes the world safer.

Limited Fun With Old Marvel Web Pages

2007-04-18T10:07:00.000-07:00

I now present a post comprised entirely of me making fun of old Marvel web pages; join me, won't you, as we walk down the hallowed halls of the halcyon days of 2005! Or something.

The lesson: archive your web pages as they become outdated, or risk jackasses like me taking cheap shots at your expense.

Let's begin!

1) Did anyone ever win this contest? I checked IMDB for the cast list, and they all seem like professional actors to me. Bonus fun: download the PDF scripts and create your own Ultimates 2 #13 comic!

2) The beginning of the end. Noteworthy for the downloadable "Who's dead?" cheat sheet gimmick they're reusing for World War Hulk, and the charmingly Stan Lee-esque exhortation, "Marvelites, be forewarned, while you need not buy every single issue of this blockbuster, you will want to once you see how the events of any -- nay, EVERY -- issue will ripple through each of your favorite titles for MONTHS to come!"

3) Hey kids! It's Marvel Monthly Newsletters! For the truly dedicated comics historian.

4) Remember this imprint? Actually, Runaways, Young Avengers, and Livewires were pretty good. Didn't read Spellbinders (no interest), Arana (is that still going with one of those months-long hiatus between "seasons", or was it cancelled?), or X-23 (the definition of "inessential".)

5) Ah, er, ummm... yeah, not so much. In retrospect, the phrase "best martial arts action this side of Bruce Lee" probably should never, ever be used.

6) The Marvel event of the decade! Well, the third one, anyway.

Reviews tomorrow!

Better Know A Hero: Phantom Stranger

2007-04-17T07:13:00.000-07:00

2 Guys Buying Comics has been apprised of the fact that a good portion of our visitors are just getting back into comics. We now present the fifth installation of our weekly feature, Better Know A Hero.

Name: Phantom Stranger

Also Known As: MISTER Phantom Stranger, SIR!

Origin: This one's a toughie, because DC's never really come outright and given us a definitive origin; there was a Secret Origins issue some years back that gave us three or four possible origins if I remember correctly, but nothing ever really got nailed down.

The beauty of that is that you get to project your own origin on one of DC's uber-characters! Want him to be a fallen angel cast down from Heaven? Okay, then! Want him to be the physical embodiment of the insane consciousness of the last member of a dying race of sentient alien fire hydrants? Done!

(Side Note: Don't laugh. You can't tell me that hasn't crossed Grant Morrison's mind once or twice. Grant, if you're reading: call me. I have ideas.)

Powers: Pick one. Energy bolts? Check. Teleportation? Sure, why not? While we're at it, let's throw in telepathy, omniscience, intangibility, the ability to drone on for hours about "dark portents" and "cosmic order" and anything else that was required in any given issue he showed up in. I'm dead serious --- near as I can tell, the one constant ability dude has was the ability to scare the living shit out of someone by appearing unannounced right in front of them. (Which is still a really cool power.) The point is, PS can do whatever the writer needs him to do.

How's The Costume?: Oh, man, there is a reason the Phantom Stranger is inherently cool, and the costume's a big part of it. That cape! That fedora! That massively oversized gold medallion! And what sensible slacks! PS was a hustler pimp daddy, the original gangsta with an ice-cold stare made all the creepier by the lack of pupils and shadow eternally cast over his eyes. (No, it's not actually a mask. I know, I was surprised too.)

Alter Ego: Phantom Stranger doesn't need an alter ego, Mortal.

Home Cookin': PS is a rolling stone; wherever he lays his hat is his home.

Chillin' At The Crib: Sometimes he hangs out at the Oblivion bar with the rest of the DCU magicky types, but I prefer to think that he has a lushly appointed swingin' bachelor pad complete with shag carpet and a beanbag chair he made out of the hides of demons.

Can He Fight?: It's really not so much about the fighting with PS as it is the stern looks, ominously vague prophetic warnings, and reality-altering magic that mysteriously at the last minute he won't use for fear of upsetting some cosmic balance or rulebook or some twaddle like that. So, um, yes in the sense that he scares away 99% of would be combatants before the fight ever starts; no in the sense that we rarely see him throw down.

Allies: He's actually a member of the Justice League, believe it or not, (though he never brings the things he signs up for to the potlucks). Cassandra Craft, Zatanna, and the Shadowpact are his most recent cohorts. Back in the day, ran with Swamp Thing and John Constantine, Vertigo-style.

Enemies: Whoever he damn well decides is going to be an enemy. Mostly anybody evil or threatening to upset the Cosmic Balance of Destiny, Order, And/Or Fate™.

Symbol: Taking suggestions, although I'm partial to either his big ol' medallion or the fedora.

Family Matters: Your guess is as good as mine, although he did have a very brief dalliance with Cassandra Craft once upon a time.

Might Be Cool To: Have him materialize in your neighbor's kitchen and steal all the ham out of their fridge, then repeat this several times a week until the neighbor goes mad, raving about the Ham-Thief Ghost as he's carted off to the looney bin while you and PS enjoy some ham sandwiches gratis. Go bowling with.

Under No Circumstances: Refer back to that time not so long ago when Mr. Big Bad Phantom Stranger was turned into a mouse by the Spectre. Yank his chain, literally or figuratively.

Annual Performance Review: The last I saw of PS, he was rebuilding the Rock of Eternity with the Shadowpact and beating down the Spectre. Let's face it: people are afraid to use the Phantom Stranger in their comics because they Cannot Deal With The Power. He was my choice to be a regular recurring character (or at least a narrator) for the new Brave and the Bold series, but Mark Waid and George Perez certainly don't need my input, thanks very much.

What Makes Him So Special, Anyway?: I have always adored the Phantom Stranger. He's dark, mysterious, typically alone, with vaguely defined powers and conflicting backstories. The Stranger's look is an iconic one; there's just something commanding about a strangely sinister-looking nigh-omnipotent dude in a zoot suit.

He's part Shadow, part Doctor Strange, part Omniscient Narrator and Greek Chorus, and immediately increases the cool factor of any comic he shows up in, even if that comic is Gotham County Line.

DC has produced a magnificent Showcase volume, as well, so check out the original stuff by John Broome and Carmine Infantino, although personally I prefer the mid-80's appearances and his cameo in the Zatanna series in which he goes out to buy bread. Seriously.

Ell. Oh. Ell.

2007-04-16T18:28:00.000-07:00

Can't believe I missed this.

Eric Canete may be my new favorite artist.

Chris' Reviews: Random Edition!

2007-04-16T14:51:00.000-07:00

Afternoon, everyone! Since the usual Joey Da Q interview over at the 'Rama was even less substantive that usual last week, no New Joe Mondays this week.

And so, I give you these quasi-reviews:

IRON MAN #16 --- Garbled storytelling up front almost torpedoes the issue in which Tony and Maya try to go all CSI on a terrorist corpse, but things brighten considerably when a shackled Mandarin goes medieval on his would-be rescuers. Also, absolutely brilliant work by Roberto de la Torre, who really cuts loose in the Mandarin scene. A confusing beginning and a hackneyed end drag the whole operation down, though. CBG: 2/5.

FELL #8 --- The densest issue so far, told entirely through Post-It notes attached to each panel, which are themselves photographs taken by Fell on a night in Snowtown. It's a "day-in-the-life" issue, and one that wraps up kind of sweetly (well, as sweet as Fell ever gets, anyway). Still love the art, still love the atmosphere. CBG: 3/5.

DETECTIVE COMICS #831 --- A cute Harley Quinn episode that only further serves to endear her to me, as she teams up with the new Ventriloquist for some hijinks that aren't what they appear to be. Good character issue for Harley, which should come as no surprise seeing as how Paul Dini is the author. Also a good scene at the end showing us once again that the new OYL Batman is much more of a good guy than the pre- Infinite Crisis jerkwad. CBG: 4/5.

IRON MAN: HYPERVELOCITY #4 of 6 --- Attention, fans of Len Kaminski: this miniseries puts the science back in Iron Man, much like Len's run did back in the day. There's about 7,000 pounds of technobabble per page, but it moves quickly, has an interesting premise, and Brian Denham's art continues to amaze. Adam Warren has my thanks for delivering what's at once a bleeding-edge cyberpunk Iron Man and a near-textbook on what makes Iron Man cool. (Hint: it's not in continuity.) CBG: 3/5.

JONAH HEX #18 --- Wow. Not only a creepy cannibal story, but a damned depressing one, as Hex's sense of justice betrays him and tragedy ensues. A somewhat confusing chain of events and Val Semeiks' art seems disjointed at times, but quite frankly the issue is worth the price for the cover alone, done by legend Bill Sienkiewicz (who might be the best "modern" cover artist ever, now that I think about it). Check it:

Awesome. CBG: 3/5.

Tomorrow: Better Know A Hero returns!

Drool.

2007-04-13T20:39:00.000-07:00

Ahem.

The first picture of an actual suit from the Iron Man movie currently filming has hit the Interwebs. It's the first generation IM suit, the one he builds using spare parts and weapon scraps while a POW. Also known as the Refrigerator Suit and the Big Gray Water Heater Suit.

I have one reaction.

God. Damn. They got it. Perfect.

Yet more evidence that my long-awaited for movie realization may not in fact suck.

This Comes As A Surprise To Virtually No One

2007-04-13T09:50:00.000-07:00

Thought we'd end our week here at 2GBC with a happy note:

In accordance with the prophecies, Gail Simone will be the next regular writer on Wonder Woman. Upon reading this, I immediately thought three things:

1) I will in fact be subscribing to WW when Gail takes the reigns, and if you thought otherwise then you haven't been paying attention.

-------------------------------

2) The following exchange from the Newsarama interview made me want to send Gail lots of presents, but not in the creepy online stalker-ish kind of way:

GS: Of course, since she’s punching a monkey off a waterfall on page three, maybe that’s not the best example.

On second thought, no, it definitely is.

NRAMA: Monkey off a waterfall?

GS: Monkey off a waterfall.

NRAMA: You’re going to get letters.

GS: Bring ‘em.

Don't you just want to hug her?

--------------------------------------------

3) This announcement kind of renders the next 8 or so issues of WW even less relevant than before, no? Did DC just unintentionally torpedo sales for the next 8 months? (Insert joke about Wonder Woman lateness/quality here.)

--------------------------------------------

Anyhoo, the lesson, as always: Gail Simone rocks.

Off-Topic: More Bad News

2007-04-12T00:38:00.000-07:00

It appears that Kurt Vonnegut has died.

I mention this because there are only 5 or 6 authors whom I really in my greatest moments of hubris like to think that I can count as influences.

Kurt Vonnegut was on the list, a solid #3.

If there's an afterlife, I'm sure he wasted no time checking into the hotel and is even now looking down on us and laughing his guts out at us.

RIP, Kurt.

More on this later.

The Point of World War Hulk?

2007-04-11T11:28:00.000-07:00

So, at first, after hearing about this upcoming event, I was quite excited.

Basically, its Hulk Smash those who pissed him off, shot him into space, blah blah blah.

Great! Who doesn't like to see Hulk Smash? I mean, that's what he is best at, right?

So, some slothed through Civil War, others read about it, some casually overheard about it, some outright avoided it (good luck with that if you are a Marvel reader.)

We had fight(s), and at the end, no real change other than:
1. Every fan and their mother basically thinking Tony Stark is a pompous dick.
2. Dead Clor, some other dead people, some now already ret-conned (or whatever the term is.)
3. A new law.

Anyone ever mentioned laws get challenged and sometimes thrown out every day? (I would like to claim that I am happy that years ago the state of Washington disallowed all airplane radar speeding tickets- and that was back in the 80's, so may have changed 89 times since then.)

Anyway, back to my point...

What the hell is the point of World War Hulk? Is anything really going to change? Does it matter that Hulk comes back and beats up some heroes, and, rumourly speaking, has heroes either lining up with him, or against him?

I mean, so what? Its not like Hulk is going to kill Tony Stark, or Professor X. Is all this just going to make Hulk "feel better" that he punched a bunch of people in the face?

Hulk comes back, smashes people, then its back to status quo for Hulk, et al. Oh boy!!

I mean, technically, can't we see this in any issue of Hulk? Oh no, Hulk meets Tigra in the Arizona desert, and punches her. OK, next panel.

I"m still interested in seeing what Hulk does upon his return, but I"m starting to lose the excitement. EXCEPT, if the rumour mill is also true, about the last ish being Thor vs. Hulk. Not Clor. But hopefully a segueway (ugh, spelling) into the new Thor series.

I seem to be choosing sides...the Hulk side...and didn't we all read some kind of ad about 'choosing sides' not too long ago on a whole 'nother event?

My excitement for this has suddenly lessened even more just now. I think I've had too many friggin months to soak this all in.

Any other thoughts out there on WWH?

On Origins

2007-04-10T11:26:00.000-07:00

Sorry, folks, was at work a ridiculously long time last night, so you'll have to wait another week for Better Know A Hero.

However, something occurred to me on the way home that is sticking in my brainpan. One of the old "How Marvel And DC Differ" thoughts.

And suddenly I find myself thinking about character origins.

And then I realize that for me one of the attractions to Marvel comics is that they tend to not fetishize and dwell and obsess over their character origins the way DC does (or, at least, their current crop of writers do).

It just seems like I can't read a Batman story without there being a reference at some point about Bruce's parents, as an example. We just went over Hal Jordan's origin again in the most recent GL arc. Superman, Aquaman, and Wonder Woman are all in various states of "re-origin-ing" their origins, and I suspect you know what I mean by that. Supergirl's spent the better part of, what, 17 issues trying to sort out her origin? Even Jonah Hex makes reference every other issue about his disfigurement at the hands of the Native Americans.

(Side Note: I really loves me some Jonah Hex. Buy it. That is all.)

Conversely, I see (or at least I think I see) a lot less of that stuff in my Marvel reads. Maybe it's just me.

Anyway, I'm not slamming DC for this or anything, just an interesting difference that I thought about on the way home last night.

What are your thoughts?

More tomorrow.

New Joe Mondays 4/9

2007-04-09T19:57:00.000-07:00

A bit shorter than usual because of the Easter weekend, but just as non-informative and ridiculous as usual.

Enjoy!

New Joe Mondays 4/9 at Atomic Comics

Say It Isn't So, Gail

2007-04-06T10:40:00.000-07:00

Alright, in perusing the boards and news out there in comicland, what do I happen to hit?

Gail Simone is leaving Birds of Prey.

I gave this book a whirl way back when, and was hooked immediately by Gail's writing.
And now, XX years and issues later, I am a diehard fan of Gail.

This book is her flagship. I hate to see her leave it.

I will give the new writer Sean McKeever a chance on the writing duties. It still has a great cast of characters, and many stories to still be told. It will still have Niccola Scott on art chores, so that is a bonus also.

What is that major, new, longly desired project that Gail will be working on soon?
Oh my, the rumours are abuzz already.
I've seen:

Wonder Woman
JLA
Secret Six
Blackhawks

Any truth? Who knows. We'll see when we see.

I will say that Secret Six and the Blackhawks should stay as minis, or one-shots, or appearances in other books. I would hate to see them as ongoings. The Secret Six have worked wonderfully as they have to date, and I think an ongoing would spoil the "feel".

Wonder Woman writers currently appear to be short-lived (THANK GOODNESS) and Gail might be able to breathe some fresh air into a character that REALLY needs it!!

JLA: Chris' hopes lie here.

I will not offer speculation.

Gail, if you are reading- I hope you get a rocking project- you know that I"ll be on board! Hate to see ya leaving BoP, but its been a great run with you onboard.

Randy Reviews Week April 4

2007-04-05T08:56:00.000-07:00

Greetings one and all

I do not have the plethora of books that Chris has this week, and I'm fine with that. Usually its the other way around. So TAKE THAT Chris!!

I have only a few books to review, and I will say that I was pleased with the entire group this week.

Without spoilers, and without further ado, here we go:

Buffy the Vampire Slayer #2

The Long Way Home, Part II

This book is far better than issue 1. And no, its not just because I get me some Giles appearances. This one didn't just "BAM", here's where we are and what is going on. I have some backfill. This book really feels like the show. I have Giles. AND, we get the last page appearance. WHOA!!! is all I"m going to say to that. I lied. That was a GREAT last page. It made me very very excited for issue 3.

Quick summary-

we get some Buffy training girls,
we get Giles talking to girls,
we get Dawn and Xander chatting,
we get Amy doing her dirty work
we get the whole "soldier/suit" discussion about magic/slayers/missiles.
Then we get zombies.
Then we get the last splash page.

I was quite taken aback at the Buffy/Xander sequence- boy that threw me for quite a loop when I started reading. It did, of course, go straight downhill from there, for the gang, as usual.We are getting to see what we saw of much in the show- not just Buffy et all whooping up on dead/demon things, but the lighter touches of sister issues, relationship issues, and all that kinda jazz. I guess this would be called the emotional stuff.

Did not care for the Kenny appearance. I would like to see him dropped altogether and never used again- except for maybe demon food. With a dual cliffhanger, I am quite looking forward to issue 3-- I'm going to be extremely interested on who they bring in to "fix an issue." It also plays off some fairy tales, which makes me chuckle. And I really can't tell you why. It just does.

Rating: 4/5. Improving, engaging storyline. The appearances keep coming. The art is still on par. I love the covers though. Can't we just get Xander his eye back though. I keep seeing Nick Fury. Also, I am tagging this one as my Book of the Week.

Warbird #14
The Deal, Part 2 of 2

So, there is good, and there is not so good with this issue.Starting with the good.

It has a psuedo happy ending.
It packs an interesting plot twist near the end, involving Julia Carpenter, her parents and her daughter. One I was not expecting. And brings up a good point (one that I"m sure has been played out before, but I haven't seen it, so I liked it.) It made me think some.
Gives us why Julia Carpenter is in Omega Flight.
More AIM bad guys.
Warbird really kinda...plays the law into her own hands. MOre of, "I want this, so I'm going to do it." Real borderline there. Its basically Tony and Carol getting what they want, and finding the reasoning behind it. I like that. Gives her a little edginess.
I"m intrigued by her SHIELD team.
The last page reveal.

Now, the not so good:

Makes Julia Carpenter out to be a pretty much wuss. And she's joining a "super-group?"
Either use the sweet ass red-jacketed WonderMan, or just don't use him. Its not his book I know, but his appearances are kind of lame.
Tony and Carol basically setting precedents for law. Isn't this going back to "superheroes taking the law into their own hands" again? Yes, I almost mentioned this above in the good. Its a good and bad.

So, granted, there appears to be far more good than bad in this issue. I still say Warbird is far far far better after that lame CW thing. I"m actually, overall, enjoying the book again.

Rating: 3/5. I"m glad that the Julia thing is finally laid to rest (basically). And now we can get back to down and dirty, starring AIM, Warbird and...wait for it....MODOK!

Jonah Hex #18

I Walk Alone

NO Photo, because apparently no one can get it right.

And because I have no scanner available at this time. This has been my favorite Jonah Hex book to date. Wait, except for the carnival issue. This has been my second favorite Jonah Hex book to date. I was actually thinking of dropping this title, to save a few dollars here and there. But honestly, I just can't, or maybe I just don't want to. Its little one shot stories like these that make me want to continue reading. And, I think I can finally say, it was nice to see that even Jonah Hex can be wrong. That's all I'm going to say- read the book if you want to find out why I say that.

But hey, I have a question for all of you. Jonah Hex makes bundles of money on bringing in his bounties, right? So, what the hell does he do with all that money? We always see him out camping. He doesn't have 8 bags of clothes with him. Does he own a lumbermill in Canada or something? We never see him gamble. Ammunition sure as hell doesn't cost that much, even if he goes through that much in just a single issue. I was just wondering.

Also, it was great fun to read through the conversation that Jonah had with his campfire "friend." And the end of this tale, its a little twisted. All the more reason I liked it.

Rating: 4/5. As I said, one of my favorite tales so far in the Jonah Hex chronicles.

Welcome to Tranquility #5

Too Much for the Man

And this book just continues to roll out the punches. This one really packs a wallop. And we start to get to some of the "whodunnit" revelations. Not people I was suspecting.

We get an unfair fight, partially depicted on the cover.

And, we finally, finally get Hecatean!!! Oh the poor poor man finally finds the solution, and its pretty impressive. Not telling, because that would spoil some of the fun from the first few issues.

This is pretty much a "wham-bang-smash'em up fracas", all the while revealing all the plot twists. It was very well done. There were a couple of character shifts I was not expecting. Actually, I was pretty shocked. The hospital fight was good, and I was glad it had the ending it did. It only made sense that it should go that way anyway.

Also, I loved these lines of conversation:

"Police Brutality"

"Shut up Boy!"

"He touched my Heinie"

I just had to laugh. This has so far been a great book, never a slow moment, but it is not one that you can just pick up with an issue, say #5, and know what the heck is going on. If you haven't picked this up from issue 1, then wait for a trade, or go buy the back issues. But I think you'll enjoy it.

Rating: 4/5. A marvelous read. And almost any book with the next title of "Dogfight" showing a plane in it is also something to really look forward to.

Savage Tales

Issue #1
Am I a Red Sonja fan- yep. Am I a fantasy world fan- yep. Why then, wouldn't I buy Savage Tales? Heh, I did, and I enjoyed all the stories.

Red Sonja tale was fun, as she ripped out an earring from a thief. Its nice to see that she can pass out in taverns too.
The Atlantis tale was actually my favorite though from this book. The King has his ideals, his vision, and his lackeys feed him the tales of Atlanteans on the mainland in a way that only would please the king, but the drawings sure didn't depict it that way. That was really fun to read and decipher.
A carryover story from the regular Red Sonja books, this involved the man-wolf-warrior (I forget his name) that revels in pleasing the older gods, and now has a sworn enemy in Khulan Gath. Even though he despises "the Red Devil", I can see them teaming at some point to rid the world of Khulan Gath.
The last story is a native tribe, beset by aliens, both good and bad. I didn't care for this story too much, but nonetheless a decent read. It was the last of the bunch, so I muddled through thinking back to the previous three stories.

This was a pretty good book about "duping" the old pulp magazines of past: multiple stories, all parts of stories, that you have to tune in next month to read. I did get that vibe, and it was fun.
Rating: 3/5. Not all the strongest stories, but you won't always get that, and that's ok. The art was very pretty though, especially the Atlantis story.

Welcome, Citizens!

2007-04-04T07:48:00.000-07:00

Holy crow, 9 books for me today, which might be the highest single week I've had in two months.

Not that there's anything wrong with that.

Anyhoo, just a post to let you know that 2GBC would like to welcome two more blogs to the ol' sidebar, and they're ones that you're probably already reading anyway, so yeah... go ahead and make your little jokes about how this is just a lame post just to have something up on a Wednesday, you ass.

In all seriousness, we'd like to welcome Siskoid's Blog of Geekery to the 'bar. Siskoid's life apparently revolves around Star Trek episode synopses, Teen Titans, Doctor Who, and old-school gaming. He's kind of like the perfect storm of geekery, and his blog is a nice daily dose of that.

Also, welcome to Comic Coverage, Mark Engblom's excellent blog/site/art showcase which is thirty-six different kinds of fun on any given day, and worthy of your traffic.

Finally, Tales From The Longbox's Comic Headlines is kind of the AP Wire of comics blogging; indispensable for seeing what the latest posts are, and where.

More later!

Better Know A Hero: Beta Ray Bill

2007-04-03T07:00:00.000-07:00

2 Guys Buying Comics has been apprised of the fact that a good portion of our visitors are just getting back into comics. We now present the fourth installment of our weekly feature, Better Know A Hero.

Name: Beta Ray Bill

Also Known As: Bill, That Awesome Horse Guy Who Odin Used To Teach Thor That He Ain't All That

Origin: The short version is that Bill was an alien Korbinite whose mind was transferred into the body of a bioengineered monster that the Korbinites built to guard their race as they fled from an alien race of demons and an exploding sun.

(Side Note: That last sentence right there? Sums up the awesomeness of 80's Marvel.)

Next thing you know, Thor goes to investigate, wacky Three's Company-like misunderstanding occurs, and ol' Bill winds up wielding Mjolnir. Odin takes a liking to Bill, elists him to defeat the alien demons and teach Thor a lesson in humility, and creates a hammer just for him. Cosmic ass-kicking ensues.

Powers: Pretty much everything Thor can do, and Bill's got a hammer named Stormbreaker. Also: it's worth noting that he's essentially a cyborg, which goes to prove that cyborg Thor ripoffs don't necessarily have to be lame (I'm lookin' at you, Clor).

How's The Costume?: Pretty badass, as if someone took an old-school Thor outfit and decided to make it entirely out of shiny metal. Plus, I'm a sucker for wings on the head, so make of that what you will.

Alter Ego: Simon Walters, an Earthling he's bonded with who carries a cane that turns him into Beta Ray Bill. No, they weren't trying particularly hard here, were they?

Home Cookin': Another day in the Marvel Universe, which means we're either in New York or outer space, although for the upcoming Omega Flight launch he's gonna be taking up residence in Canada. Don't look at me like that. It wasn't my idea.

Chillin' At The Crib: Reason #944 Beta Ray Bill is cool is that he tools around in a living space battleship named Skuttlebutt. It's one thing to be an alien horse monster with the power of a Thunder God. It's entirely another to fly around in a sentient battleship. You had me at hello, Mr. Simonson.

Can He Fight?: I mentioned he beat up Thor at least three times, right? Kay. Moving on.

Allies: Thor, Sif, the Asgardians in general, those yahoos that are going to be in Omega Flight, and the Thor Corps. (No, I'm not making that up. Check it, yo.) He was also a member of the Star Masters, which for the uninitiated was kind of the cosmic version of the Champions, only lamer.

Enemies: Demon aliens (the Surtur), any number of cosmic or supernatural baddies, and the first "iteration" of Bill created by the Korbinites but ultimately deemed too dangerous and psychotic to be their champion: his name, of course? Alpha Ray. I love comics.

Symbol: Pretty much one of the ten best covers EVER in comicdom, right here from his first appearance:

Family Matters: His home race, I guess. Other than that, he considers Thor a 'brother'.

Might Be Cool To: Drive around with for awhile, watching the faces on people as they think, "Hey, that costume reminds me of someoGAAAAAAAH! A HORSE DEMON WITH THE ABILITY TO WIELD MAGICAL BLUNT OBJECTS!"

Under No Circumstances: Refer to him as "Thorse". Attach a feed bag. Point out that really, no matter how hard he tries, it's Thor that gets the love.

Annual Performance Review: I mentioned he's in Omega Flight, right? We'll see how that turns out, but damn Marvel for making me want to pick up the first issue just to see how he ends up in Canada and whether or not he still has the wicked spaceship.

What Makes Him So Special, Anyway?: Quite frankly, Beta Ray Bill is one of those supremely Marvel properties, with cosmic wackiness and great visual design combined with a goofy origin and being a somewhat shameless rip-off of a well established hero. Bill's hugely powerful but was burdened with protecting his race, and he's got just enough pathos and courage to make him both sympathetic and balls-to-the-wall 'HULK SMASH!' cool. Also, it's interesting that he's essentially been able to retain his alien persona over the years, without humanizing him too much.

The magic, though is in Walt Simonson's Thor run that introduced Bill, and what a marvelous tale that was, indeed. It really shows A) the awesomeosity of Bill, Thor, Odin and the gang, and B) just how skilled Simonson was. You'd think a Thor arc that didn't really focus on Thor most of the time would suck. I offer Bill and this book here as evidence to the contrary.

I say thee YAY!